New Beginnings
by Katiesmom07
Summary: Grissom and Sara meet again after not having seen each other for two years.  Not set in any particular time.  Doesn't follow show's timeline.  Rated M for tasteful love scene.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea and the mistakes.

1

He sat on the beach in the brisk morning air, watching wave after wave crash against the already wet sand, feeling very old. His life had somehow come to a quick end these past couple of weeks, and he dreaded walking on this earth until his days were up. Never having been a person who contemplated ending his own life, it scared him to think how many days he might have left to endure.

As he thought back over these past twenty-two days, he decided to start his period of endurance at the beginning of them. In a word, they had sucked. Chuckling, he allowed the slight moment of humor into his horrible life, realizing that this was in fact the very first time he had ever used the word 'sucked' to describe anything. But in this case, the word applied.

Twenty-two days ago, he had found out his mother was ill, and her life was coming to an end. Without giving it a second thought, he'd handed in his resignation that day, needing to go be with his mother.

Twenty-one days ago, he'd sat in an office with the undersheriff, sheriff and Ecklie, the dreaded ass who'd succeeded in ruining what little life he'd had two years earlier. Half the day had been wasted with pleas for him to stay, and merely take some time off to think. But the conversation ended when he'd told them they had to approve his resignation or he'd just plain quit without any of the benefits following him. He'd given Conrad Ecklie a death stare as he told the group that he had no reason to stay there anymore, which thankfully pushed him into a long silence. They finally conceded, knowing it would be an injustice to do him wrong after all of the years of hard service. So, after finalizing a few details, including that he'd work another ten days and that no one was to know he was leaving until after he was gone, he walked out of the office, knowing he'd made the right decision.

Ten days ago, he'd walked out of the lab for good, just as he'd told Warrick he would. There was no party, no cake and no sad goodbyes. He simply vanished, just like a ghost.

Nine days ago he'd arrived at his mother's side, ready to spend every moment taking care of her. Getting used to the silence in his deaf mother's house was more difficult than he'd expected. He thought he wouldn't miss the endless chatter between Catherine and Susan, Sara's replacement, and Greg and Nick, the loud music that he'd begged Greg more than once to turn down, the annoying questions and explanations from Hodges and the constant questioning by Warrick to see if he was okay, but he did. He honestly missed it all. But he found his comfort in his mother as he watched her weakly sign stories of his childhood and tell him secrets she never thought he was ready to know.

One day ago, his mother told him how much she loved him and that her only regret was not watching him fall in love and get married. Then she'd closed her eyes and drifted into a permanent sleep that would carry her to join his father in peace in heaven.

One day ago, he'd cried for the first time in his adult life.

One day ago, the last person he was living for was ripped away from him.

One day ago, his life had ended, just as he thought it had a little over two years ago.

_(Two years ago)_

_The ring of his desk telephone startled his attention away from the stack of paperwork looming in front of him. For a moment, he contemplated not answering it, but knew that would only lead to the ringing of his cell or the buzz of a page._

"_Grissom."_

_The voice on the other end of the phone made his skin crawl. "Grissom, Ecklie. Could you come by my office before the start of shift. I need to speak with about an important matter."_

_He knew there was no point in arguing, mainly because there was no place to hide. "Fine."_

_Less than five minutes later, he was seated in a chair in his boss' office with the door shut behind him. "What can I do for you, Conrad?" As much as he found the use of his first name annoying, as they couldn't be anything further from friends, he would not give him the respect of using his last name to his face._

"_It's about Sidle."_

_Sarcastically, "Oh? What is it this time?"_

"_She's gone."_

"_Gone?"_

"_Yes, she handed in her resignation four weeks ago and yesterday was her last day."_

_His brow furrowed, "Excuse me?"_

"_She told me that she knew you would not approve of her leaving, so she had to come to me."_

"_You're damn right I don't approve of her leaving. You had no right!"_

"_I have every right, Grissom. It's already done."_

"_And I bet you loved every second, didn't you?"_

"_That's not the point. She had valid reasons for wanting to leave, and I didn't see a need to force her to stay."_

"_And just what the hell were those valid reasons?"_

"_I don't need to share them with you."_

_His temper was getting the better of him and he slammed his fist on the desk with his next outburst, "Like hell!"_

"_Look, she didn't feel as though she was getting the respect she deserved here in the lab."_

"_You're damn right she wasn't! You and Catherine spent a lot of time making sure she didn't."_

"_Actually, she also mentioned you, along with Willows and I."_

_His voice calmed a bit, "Me?"_

"_Yes, you. She also mentioned the uncalled-for strain between the two of you and said that it was becoming too hard to come to work with you day after day. Would you like to hear any more?"_

_In a whisper, "You knew. You knew that all we needed to do was talk things through and you still let her go."_

_Ignoring his last statement, "I have already found three suitable candidates for her replacement. You, of course, can make the final selection."_

_His anger raged. He nearly leapt over the desk when he stood, pointing his finger in Ecklie's face as he yelled, "You sorry son of a bitch! You took her away from me when you KNEW things could be worked out. You let the best CSI go that you have in this lab to get at me. You had no damn right! And now you're going to sit here and tell me to pick out her replacement? Screw you!"_

"_Now, Grissom…"_

"_Don't you 'now, Grissom' me you asshole. You tell me where she is so I can go get her back!"_

_Still calm, a smirk came over his face, "Sorry, Grissom. Sidle expressed her wish for her file to be sealed. She wants no one to know where she's gone, especially you." He paused and pulled a plain white envelope from his desk drawer that he handed across the desk. "But she did ask me to give you this. It was sealed when she gave it to me yesterday. I have no idea what it says."_

_He snatched the envelope and turned to storm out, but he was stopped before he could get out the door. "What about the replacement?"_

_Without turning, "Do it your damned self!" Then he slammed the door to the office, only to do the same with his when he returned to his sanctuary._

_He stared at the envelope for several long minutes, feeling his life being torn away by the moment. She was gone, and his only hope was this letter. _

_Carefully, he opened it with his letter opener, as if it were the key piece of evidence in a breaking case. Inside he found a typed letter that tore his heart in two._

Grissom

I'm sorry I've hurt you. I know I have. At least, I think I have. But I can't live like this anymore. Our relationship has gone from good to great to bad to okay to bad again and now even worse. Do you even realize you have not spoken a word to me about anything other than a case in over two months? I don't think you do.

I'd like to know if you understand how much it hurts to be in love with someone who doesn't even know your favorite color or flower, but I'm not even sure if you've ever been in love. Did you even know I loved you? I guess it doesn't matter now.

I'm sorry for not saying goodbye and for not even telling you I was leaving, but I knew you'd talk me into staying. I knew that I would let you pull me back onto our roller coaster ride of a relationship, or lack thereof, and I just couldn't go through with it.

Tell everyone I said goodbye, and that I will miss them.

Please don't look for me. Please just let me go. I need to let you go.

I'll miss you.

Sara

Word by word, his heart had been ripped away. The woman he loved had been torn away from him and she didn't even know that he loved her. He didn't know whether to scream or cry. All he knew was how stupid he'd been. He'd spent so much time trying to fight loving her that he'd lost his chance to tell her he'd given up the fight.

He'd waited for her to change her mind and come back for almost six months. He'd done as she asked; he hadn't looked for her. But his heart ached for her, even knowing that he'd never get her back.

Two years ago, his heart had been torn to shreds.

A year and a half ago, he'd given up thinking it would ever be put back together again.

A day ago, he realized that it had never been put back together and merely broke into even more pieces.

7


	2. Chapter 2

2

Taking a deep breath, he stood and brushed the sand from his backside. Meandering down the beach, he wondered what normal people did after retirement when they had no friends to speak of, no family. The suddenly he realized that it really didn't matter. He was fifty years old and the only thing he wanted to do was find the woman he was in love with, but would probably never see again.

He was almost back to where he'd parked his car when a little girl almost ran right into him. Steadying her with a hand on her arm, he looked around for a parent. With no one in sight, he crouched down to the child who couldn't have been anymore than three. She had sparkling green eyes, chubby cheeks and a mess of blond curls. She was carrying a bucket filled with other sand toys and had on fairly new clothes, ruling out her being homeless.

She didn't look panicked when he started to speak to her, but rather interested in his face. "Hey! Is your mommy or daddy around?" He instantly realized that he sounded just like a kidnapper and scolded himself for the stupid question.

But the little girl didn't seem phased by the question and answered right away, "My mommy's coming right now. We live in that house right there." She pointed her finger toward a large house just up the beach a little.

"Well, maybe you should go back and wait for her. It's dangerous to be out here all alone when you're so little."

Seemingly content with his reasoning, she shrugged and ran back toward the house. On instinct, he followed in the general direction to make sure she came back out with her mother as she said she would and didn't just run right back out alone after she thought he'd gone. He lost sight of her as she slipped into the back door.

"Mommy, Mommy! Are you coming?"

"Kimmy, where have you been? I've been yelling for you for five minutes?"

"I went to the beach, 'cause you said we were going. But I had to come back because the man said it was dangerous to be out there by myself since I'm so little."

"The man? Honey, I told you never to talk to strangers."

"But he's not a stranger, Mommy. He's the man in the picture by your bed."

Sara stood, stunned. Could it really be him? Had he actually come looking for her after all these years? "Stay here, honey." In a flash, she ran out the back door and scanned the beach. Taking twice as long as needed, she conceded that the beach was empty. Going back into the house, she called for Kimmy so they could go play by the water.

His investigative tendencies had gotten the better of him, and instead of continuing down the beach toward his car, he sat against the fence outside the little girl's house to wait and see if she'd come back out alone. He'd vowed only to give it ten minutes, then continue his journey home. He'd heard the door once, but the little girl hadn't followed.

With only five minutes left before he gave up, he heard the door again with the little girl chanting, "Come on, Mommy. Hurry up."

He chuckled silently; she'd done as he'd asked. He got up, prepared to tell the mother what a well-behaved little girl she had, but when he stood, he froze. The little girl indeed had brought her mother with him; Sara. He blinked a few times, trying to make sure he wasn't seeing things. But in a moment, her eyes caught his and she froze too. It was Sara. His love stood before him, after all these years.

In a whisper, "Sara?"

She returned his whisper, "Grissom?"

This caused the little girl to stop, "See Mommy, I told you it was him."

He broke his gaze from Sara's, wondering what the little girl meant, "You know me?"

Nonchalantly, "Yeah! Your picture is by my mommy's bed. I knew who you was right when I saw you."

Sara immediately corrected, "Were, Honey. I knew who you 'were' right when I saw you."

"Okay Mommy. Can I go play, please?"

"Uh…yeah. Just make sure you don't go too far and that I can see you, okay? And stay away from the water until I'm with you."

Her daughter ran away, yelling her agreeance over her shoulder.

Their eyes met again, merging in silence, finally broken by him, "You, uh, have a daughter."

Still lost in his gaze, frozen in place, "Yes, Kimmy."

"You still have a picture of me beside your bed."

She answered again, even though he was speaking in statements, not questions, "Yes."

His first question, "Are you married?"

"No. Kimmy is adopted."

Breathing a sigh of relief, "Oh. She's adorable."

"Thank you."

"Uh…when…"

"Grissom, why are you here?"

His head hung, "My mother."

"She lives over ten miles away, Grissom. Why are you _here_?"

He was not shocked that she remembered where his mother lived, her mind never ceased to amaze him. He turned from her then, "She passed away yesterday."

She went to him then, mere inches from his back, forgetting her question. Tentatively, she placed a hand on his shoulder, wanting to give him so much more, "I'm so sorry, Grissom."

He heard the sincerity in her voice, and for a brief moment, felt himself healing. The tears that were betraying his strength, silently fell down his cheeks, either out of grief for his mother or the relief of knowing part of her still cared about him.

"I know how much you loved her."

Through his tears, he let go of his heart, for once not analyzing his every move, "She was all I had left, Sara." She flinched, knowing he was talking about her. "I don't know what I'm going to do without her."

"Is there anything I can do?"

He took a deep breath and held it. She wanted to help him. "Um…I…don't even know what I'm going to do."

"When is the funeral?"

He wiped his tears, not worried that she knew he was crying and turned toward her, "Tomorrow at five."

"Would you like me to go with you?"

"You'll…do that…for me?"

Her eyes fell this time, "Yes, I will."

"Thank you. I'd like that very much."

She stumbled through her next question, "You…were, uh, going alone?"

A hint of a smile found his face, "I'm not seeing anyone."

A blush rose to her face, and she pretended to look for Kimmy, "Is any of the rest of the gang coming?"

"I…uh…don't work there anymore. No one even knows."

"You resigned?"

"Yes." His eyes found hers again, "I had no reason to stay."

Their connection was broken by Kimmy shouting, "Mommy, come play!"

She flashed him an apologetic look, "I should, uh…"

"I know. Should I pick you up tomorrow?"

She suddenly wanted him to stay, "Do you have any plans for today?"

"Uh, no. I don't."

"Would you like to stay?" Starting to ramble, overtalking around him as usual, "Uh, we weren't going to anything beside play in the sand, but if you'd like company, you could stay. You don't have to…if you don't want to."

"I'd love to stay. If I won't be intruding."

She turned then, rolling her eyes. Some things would never change. When he made no move to follow, she yelled over her shoulder, "Are you coming?"

He smiled, following her toward her daughter, mentally marking today off his list of ones he had to endure.

Two years ago, his heart had died.

One day ago, he had died.

Today, he was alive.


	3. Chapter 3

3

He sat on the same beach as he had only a few hours earlier, watched the same waves crash in, saw the same clouds in the sky, and felt young again. Very few words had passed between the two of them since they'd joined Kimmy, but he didn't need her words right now. His heart was mending inside as he watched the little girl build a sand castle over and over again, just too close to the water, and then giggle as the waves slowly crashed it down.

Sara, a natural mother, or so it seemed, divided her attention between the book she was reading and her daughter, always interested and ready to give notice when Kimmy called for her. The curls that he loved so much were pulled back into a simple pony tail, unable to be straightened in the humid weather, and he had even caught a glimpse of her chocolate eyes once or twice when she lowered the dark sunglasses from her eyes. She hadn't lost her figure, still tall and just enough over the thin mark to make her look healthy. The California sun had been good to her skin, giving the once pale white a new shade of golden. Her bare toenails were painted a faint shade of pink that matched her fingers and the curve of her ankle, which he'd rarely seen in the past ten years held an anklet.

Digging his toes into the hot sand, he reveled in the simple happiness he found in just being in Sara's presence, no matter how little time he had. A shadow suddenly covered his feet and he looked up to see Kimmy standing in front of him.

He offered her a smile, "Hello, again."

"Hi. What's your name?"

"You can call me Grissom."

"Mommy says I have to call grownups Mr. or Mrs."

Never hesitating, "Okay, then you can call me Mr. Grissom unless your Mommy says it's okay to call me Grissom." He looked toward Sara who gave him a thankful smile.

"Mr. Grissom, can I bury your feet?"

"Do you promise to unbury them and not leave me out here forever?"

She giggled, "You can just pull them out, silly!"

"Oh! Well in that case, bury away!" He shook the sand off his feet to give her a fresh start and never took his eyes off her while she diligently went about her task.

When she was through, she took a few steps back and smiled, "Done! Now catch me!"

She took off in her fastest run and he stood without a moment's hesitation to catch the little girl who seemed to make all his troubles disappear. After shaking his feet, he took off in a slow jog. They must have spent a good ten minutes running back and forth along the beach as he pretended she was too fast for him. He had caught Sara staring at them a couple times and loved the way she laughed and flashed her unforgettable gapped-tooth smile as they played.

He was distracted by Sara's beautiful smile when Kimmy ran too close to the water and a wave crashed at her knees, causing her to fall. He was there in a second to scoop the young girl out of danger's way, but couldn't stop his heart's rapid beat. Sara stood to run to them, but stopped as he gathered the girl in his arms and took a few steps away from the water.

The sudden feeling of loss filled him, though he knew Kimmy didn't even belong to him to begin with, "You scared me."

All he got was a laugh in return, muffled by his shirt, "Your shirt's wet!" She squirmed out of his arms and ran to her mother, "Mommy, can we go in the water today, please? It's not too cold today!"

"I don't have my suit on, Honey."

"If it's okay, I'll take her in."

She was shocked by his offer, not understanding quite how to take this new side of him, "But you don't even have a suit on."

"They're just shorts, Sara; they'll dry."

"Please Mommy!" She folded her hands by her chin as she begged.

After a few glances from Grissom to her daughter, she finally gave in, "Okay. But never let go of him, okay?"

She jumped as high into the air as her little legs would take her yelling, "Okay!"

Her walked over to Sara, removing his shirt in the process, who resumed her seat on the blanket, and smirked at her obvious ogling of his bare chest. He emptied his pockets, throwing down his cell and a handful of change. Opening his wallet, he pulled out the worn white envelope that had found a permanent place in a credit card slot over two years ago. Tossing the wallet beside her and the envelope on her lap, he gave her a raised eyebrow look over his sunglasses and felt confident in his next words, "Purple and lilies."

He turned and scooped Kimmy into his arms, only looking back once at Sara's shocked expression just before they hit the water. He splashed through the waves until the water reached his waist and lifted Kimmy over the waves as they rose to his chest and shoulders. She yelled for more with each wave and he stayed with her in the water as long as his tired body allowed him too, only glancing at Sara once, seeing that she was reading the note she'd left for him before she disappeared.

When his muscles couldn't lift the girl one more time and his legs threatened to give out, he trudged back to the beach where Sara awaited with a towel. She wrapped Kimmy in a tiny beach towel before she straightened and silently handed him another from her bag. He dried off, never taking his eyes from hers, debating on whether to break the silence or wait for her to speak.

The choice was made for him when Kimmy stole their attention, "Mommy, Mr. Grissom is fun! Can he stay for lunch? I'm hungry!"

Sara hesitated with her response, "Uh…Honey, Mr. Grissom might not be able to stay."

He gave her the easy out that he thought she was looking for, all the while disappointed that she didn't want him to stay, "Uh, I should go change."

Her eyes met his yet again and mixed with the confusion, he swore he saw her own disappointment in the chocolate orbs. "Okay."

She watched him as he put his shirt back on and picked up his things from the blanket. Electricity shot through him as she grabbed his hand when he was putting the envelope back in its placed in his wallet. He dared not look at her as she spoke, fearing his eyes would betray him, "Why didn't you tell me?"

With his head still hung, "Just because people don't say things out loud, doesn't mean they don't know them."

Kimmy broke the spell that had created itself around them, "Mr. Grissom, will you come back and play with me again?"

He crouched to his knees again, choosing his words carefully, "I had more fun with you today than I have in a very long time, and I would love it if I could play with you all the time. But grownups don't get to play all the time, so we'll have to see, okay Kimmy?"

She smiled and nodded, and he was thankful that she was satisfied with a response that gave Sara the opportunity to blame it on him if he didn't return. But then she shocked him by wrapping her short arms around his neck. Gathering her in his arms once more, he hugged the little girl like it might be last time he ever got too, fearing that might be the case.

When he stood, he felt the burn in his eyes and gave Sara a nod before walking away.

As he walked along the beach toward his car, never glancing back, he hoped with every step that Sara would call to him, but she never did.

His mother's house was maddeningly silent upon his return, quickly returning him to his sullen mood. Floorboards creaked below his steps as he made his way to the bathroom through the empty home. Everywhere he looked reminded him of his loss and he suddenly realized that his dream of keeping his mother's home might not be a possibility. Everything was linked to a memory and every memory reminded him that he had no one left to build memories with.

Even the hot shower didn't clear his mind or ease the muscles in his neck and shoulders that were tightening more and more with every passing minute. Deciding he needed to relax, he headed to the back yard to test out the hammock that probably hadn't been used in years. But just as he reached the back door, the phone rang.

Thinking that it might be something important, he answered with his normal greeting, "Grissom."

"Hi. It's Sara."

His disposition instantly changed, "Hello."

"You changed your cell number."

Happy to know she still remembered his old number, he explained, "The number belonged to the County."

"Oh."

A brief silence followed before he asked, "Is everything okay, Sara?"

"Okay? Yeah…it's just…Kimmy hasn't stopped talking about you since you left and she won't stop asking when you're coming back and I really don't know what to tell her…'

He interrupted, "Sara! You're rambling again."

He heard her take a deep breath. "I wondered if you had plans for tonight."

"No, I don't."

"Well, Kimmy wants me to ask if you can come over tonight."

Needing more, even though he knew he didn't deserve it, "Do _you_ want me to come over?"

Skirting his question, but giving him just a bit more confidence, "Come around six?"

"See you then."

"Bye Grissom."

"Bye Sara."

He hung up the phone with a smile on his face.

Eight hours ago, he thought his life was over.

Six hours ago, he had a bit of hope for the future.

An hour ago, his hope and been stolen away.

A minute ago, his hope was given back.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Promptly at six, he arrived at Sara's door after skipping his hammock nap and instead making a trip to the mall, an act at one time he wouldn't even skip paperwork for. When she opened the door, wearing khaki shorts that revealed her long gorgeous legs and a sleeveless, lilac-flowered cotton top, he suddenly couldn't remember a time when she looked more beautiful.

She offered him a smile before stepping to the side saying, "Come on in." Glancing at the gift bag he carried, "You shouldn't spoil her Grissom; she'll come to expect it.'

He held up a hand as if swearing in front of the judge, "Just this once, I promise." Dropping his hand to his side, "Besides, I brought you a gift and I didn't want her to feel left out."

"You brought me a gift?"

"Yes."

"Thank you.'

Pursing his lips and tilting his head to the side, "Don't thank me until you've opened it."

After a nod she turned, waving him to follow her down a wide hallway, "Kimmy is upstairs finishing up her hour of quiet time."

"Quiet time?"

"Mmm. One hour per day, she goes to her room and either reads or practices writing her letters. She usually does it earlier in the day, but today I couldn't calm her down."

They reached the bright kitchen, decorated in pale yellows with a lot of natural sunlight flowing thru the many windows and two skylights and she took her place behind the large island, resuming cutting up the vegetables for the salad. He took a seat on one of the stools before asking, "How old is she?"

"She'll be four next month."

"She's gorgeous."

"Thank you. I was very lucky when I got her. My application had been in for over a year, but a single mother working the graveyard shift just didn't look good. Her parents died in a car crash on their first date since she was born the week before I handed in my resignation. The adoption agency called me in, saying that I was the next in line for a child over one, but they were concerned about my ability to balance being a first-time mother with my job. I told them I'd be willing to give up my job if they'd give me a chance. The rest is history."

"You made the right choice, Sara."

"Thank you. You're the first person that's told me that."

"You're a good mother, and she obviously adores you. Facts are easy to state."

She cleared her throat, and returned her attention to dinner, "I, uh, hope cheeseburgers are okay for dinner.'

"Well, I have to admit that I've never had a veggie-burger before, but I'm willing to give anything a try."

Stunned again, she swallowed hard before saying, "As much as I appreciate your willingness to adapt, I actually have a real hamburger set out for you."

"But I thought you couldn't touch real meat?"

She froze in place for a moment before shaking away her shock at his sudden insights, hoping he missed her hesitation, but knowing deep down he hadn't, "I decided when I adopted Kimmy that I wouldn't push being a vegetarian on her. I want her to be able to make her own decisions in life. Eating meat is one of those decisions. I learned to deal."

He watched as she continued her task at hand, wondering whether she knew how proud he was of her. Then he realized that not voicing his feelings was what pushed her away to begin with. "I'm very proud of you Sara." She froze again, this time not instantly recovering, "I know that might sound trite, but I really am. You are the strongest person I know." He stopped, not knowing what to say next, never having been good at sharing his feelings. She finally looked at him then, with question in her eyes, "I just wanted you to know that."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything."

She bit her lips between her teeth, thankful that she was saved from this moment by Kimmy running down the hallway. But her thankfulness disappeared as she watched Grissom get off the stool and crouch down to let Kimmy run into his arms. Tears that she could no longer stop, streamed down her cheeks. She turned to the sink, letting the tears fall as she listened to the interaction between the man that she somehow loved through all of the hurtful years and her precious daughter who seemed to have fallen in love with him herself.

Kimmy yelled as she jumped into his waiting arms, "You came back! I knew you would!"

He hugged her to him, wondering how he'd fallen in love with the little girl so quickly, "You did? Well you are just too smart!" After she pushed back in his arms he asked, "Guess what?"

"What?"

"I brought you a present!"

She jumped up and clapped her hands together, "Can I open it now?"

"As long as it's okay with your mom."

"Can I Mommy?"

Sara wiped her eyes before she turned, hiding her tears from her daughter, but caught the glimpse from Grissom that told her she wasn't fooling him. "Sure, Honey."

He handed her the gift bag, hoping that she liked his selection. Truthfully, he had spent forever searching for a gift for the young girl, never having bought a gift for any child other than Catherine's daughter, Lindsay. She quickly pulled the tissue paper from the bag and tossed it to the side before pulling out the gift while he held his breath.

Sara was shocked yet again, expecting to watch her daughter pull out some sort of science kit, and instead watched the little green eyes widen as she hugged a baby doll through the box.

Turning it toward her mother, "Look Mommy! She's got a bottle and a teddy bear and extra clothes and everything!"

"I see that! What do you say?"

Without taking her eyes from the doll, "Thank you Mr. Grissom! This is the best gift ever!"

"You're very welcome, Kimmy. Would you like me to help you get her out of the box?" She nodded her head and handed him the box. It took him a few minutes to get all of the small pieces unattached, but finally handed her the last piece asking, "What are you going to name her?"

She stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth and held the doll at arms length. He waited in silence before she asked, "Mr. Grissom, what was your mommy's name?"

"Anna."

After tilting her head to the side, contemplating the name, she looked at him, "Is it okay if I name my baby Anna?"

He responded just above a whisper, "I'd like that very much." She flashed a toothy smile, making her chubby cheeks even chubbier. "How about we let Mommy open her gift now?"

"Okay, but I bet her present isn't as good as mine!"

He winked at her before replying, "We'll see." Kimmy followed him as he approached Sara, removing the small box from the side pocket in his tan cargo shorts and holding it out toward her.

Sara nervously dried her hands with the towel over her shoulder before taking the gray velvet box from him. She stared at the closed box, trying to figure out what it might hold. Judging from the size, it wasn't a ring, which she was thankful for. That was not something she could handle right now. After giving Grissom a quick glance she opened her gift. Inside she found a silver anklet with four purple butterflies charms evenly spaced out along its length.

Tears that had just subsided welled in her eyes, but this time she didn't bother to try and hide them. Her eyes found his, "It's beautiful."

Blushing slightly, "I'm glad you like it."

"Can I see, Mommy?" Sara showed her daughter the gift and then the little girl shocked them both, "It's pretty, but why did you get butterflies, Mr. Grissom?"

Sara answered before he had the chance, "Because girls like butterflies and Mr. Grissom likes bugs."

"Actually, that's not why." Her questioning gaze met his before he gave his explanation, trying to make each word seep deeper and deeper into the brown, swirling depths of her eyes, "I chose butterflies because you are my butterfly. I've watched you since you were in college, starved for life and all the knowledge it had to offer, eating up every bit of information that came your way. And no matter how many times you got plucked or knocked from the tree of life by whatever obstacle presented itself, you still forged on, determined to find your cocoon of safety; a place to rest, relax and rejuvenate. Two years ago, you found your cocoon, camouflaged from life…and from me. But now you've emerged, presenting yourself as a strong, renewed butterfly of unparalleled beauty. You are the perfect example that butterflies really do exist."

He'd never faltered even as he watched tears fall from her eyes and down her cheeks, but the hair stood up on the back of his neck and his stomach flopped as she whispered, "Thank you. That's the most amazingly special thing anyone has ever said to me."

With more strength and courage than he'd ever had before he took the step needed to bridge the gap between them and slowly reached a thumb to her cheek to wipe the tear that was falling, threatening to join the others that had formed a wet spot on her shirt. "Don't cry, Sara. I'm tired of making you cry."

"Happy tears are good tears, Grissom."

"Fine, only happy tears from now on." After a smile spread on her face, "Now, how about I help with dinner?"


	5. Chapter 5

5

Grissom had manned the grill and Sara finished in the kitchen while Kimmy set up colorful plastic dishes on the table in the back yard. Dinner was filled with endless conversation and laughter, ending with a combined effort in clearing the table.

Somehow, without much effort at all, Kimmy had convinced everyone to color at the kitchen table after the last dish was loaded into the dishwasher. Afterwards, they all hung their pictures on the refrigerator then moved to the living room where Kimmy picked out a Disney movie to watch.

Halfway through the movie, Kimmy moved from her spot on the floor to make her space with them on the love seat. She managed to position herself across both of their laps, with her head on his, her feet on hers and her butt sunk between them on the cushion. It wasn't long though before she found herself uncomfortable and tried to reposition. Moving almost completely onto his lap she rested her head on his shoulder and pulled her knees to her chest.

They watched the movie in silence, with him being the only one still awake to see the end. Kimmy had fallen asleep only moments after she snuggled onto his lap and Sara had nodded of a little later after curling her feet between them and leaning against the opposite arm of the sofa.

As the credits rolled, he thought about how lucky he was. Life was, for some reason, giving him a second chance and with renewed confidence, he was going to take advantage of every opportunity to fix all his wrongs and somehow make them right.

He managed to stand with Kimmy in his arms and carried her to her room. Thankful that she only had on a pair of cotton shorts and a t-shirt, he figured she'd be comfortable enough to sleep and slipped her under her sheets without waking her. Flipping on the nightlight that was beside the door, he pulled the door most of the way shut and went back downstairs.

After turning off the television, he stood above his sleeping beauty and watched her chest as it rose and fell in a slow, even rhythm. He was fairly confident that he could carry her upstairs as he had Kimmy, but didn't want to risk waking her. Instead, he went on the hunt for a blanket and, after finding one in an upstairs hall closet, covered her up. Resisting his urge to figure out how to curl up with her on the tiny couch, he brushed his lips across her forehead instead and went to the kitchen to write a note. He left the note on the floor in front of the couch, hoping she'd see it upon waking then went upstairs to check on Kimmy before leaving.

He was surprised to find her awake when he pushed her door open. In a hushed tone, "Hey, what are you doing awake?"

"Can I put jamas on?"

He took a few steps into the room, "Sure. Where are they?"

She pointed to her dresser, "The bottom one."

He pulled a nightgown from the drawer and held it up, "This one okay?"

She nodded before pulling her shirt over her head. He easily slipped the gown over her and she tugged off her shorts. He tossed her dirty clothes in the hamper beside the dresser and went back to tuck her in, "All better?" She nodded. "Anything else before you can go to sleep?"

"Mommy usually reads me a story, but will you just lay with until I fall asleep?"

"Sure." She scooted over on the little bed, making room for him, and he laid next to her, propping himself up on one elbow. "This okay?" She reached behind her and grabbed his free arm, holding it tightly to her chest and nodded.

He kissed her cheek and she squirmed a bit, "Your beard is scratchy."

"Sorry."

"It's okay." She yawned, "Good night Mr. Grissom."

"Good night, Kimmy." She fell asleep within minutes, but he couldn't pull himself from her, feeling like she might be the only person in life that ever really needed him.

He woke a couple hours later from Sara's touch on his shoulder. She flashed him a smile then whispered, "I got your note."

After untangling himself from Kimmy's hold on his arm, they left the room, pulling the door closed behind them. When they got downstairs, "I only woke you because I thought you might be sore in the morning from having slept in that little bed with her."

"You're probably right. She woke up before I left and asked if I'd lay with her until she fell asleep. I can't even remember falling asleep myself."

She smiled, "Me neither."

"I guess I should get going; it's late."

"Will you be all right to drive? I could make coffee before you go."

"Don't you want to get to bed?"

She tilted her head to the side, "I'd rather make you coffee." Without waiting for an answer, she brushed passed him and headed for the kitchen. He took his position on the stool while she silently made the coffee. When she finished, "She really loves you, you know."

"Yes, I know. I love her, too."

"She's gonna be heartbroken when you leave."

His heart jumped into his chest, "Why would I leave?"

"I mean, when you go back home."

"It's only twenty minutes, Sara."

"I'm not talking about tonight. I'm talking about when you go back to Vegas."

"I told you, I don't work there anymore."

"But I thought you…"

"No. My real estate agent is selling my condo for me. I have no reason to go back. I planned on staying in my mother's house, but I'm not sure if I can." After her questioning stare, "Too many memories." She gave an understanding nod, "But either way, I'd like to stay around here." There was a short, silent pause, "Are you okay with that?"

"You're a grown man, Grissom. I can't tell you where you can and can't live."

He squeezed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, "Don't, Sara."

"Don't what?"

"Don't play games. I know that I have no right to ask that after everything I've put you through, but I am. I can't play the games anymore. They just cause complications and nobody ever ends up winning. Just please be honest with me."

She stared at him for what seemed like eternity before saying, "You've changed."

His eyes met hers, "I've had a lot of time to think."

"Why?"

He took a deep breath, "Because you left and that's all I had left to do."

She crossed her arms across her chest, "No, why did you change?"

Another deep breath, "Because I realized that being who I was made me lose the only person I really cared about."

"That person being me?"

"Who else?"

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Why didn't you ever tell me that you loved me?"

"I asked first."

"Because I was afraid."

She pushed him on, "Why?"

"Because the only other person in my life that I cared about as much as I did for you, other than my mother, hurt me." He stopped, hoping she would say something, but realized she wanted more. "I dated a girl in college. We were very serious. She wore my school ring. You may scoff at it now, but that was a big thing when I was in school. It was like being engaged. Anyway, to make a long story short, when I told her I was continuing on in school to get my Masters, she called the whole thing off. Included in her farewell speech was how horrible I was at having a relationship. I was unromantic, more devoted to my schooling and job than her and that I was too stupid to even notice that she had been sleeping with my roommate. I decided she was right."

"But you've dated women since then."

"Not seriously."

"Terri Miller?"

"We didn't even make it through one dinner."

"Sophia?"

"We were not romantically involved. We went to dinner once and she said that I talked about you too much. Friendship, nothing else."

Sara turned to pour the coffee that had finished perking then handed him a cup, "Black."

"You know how I take my coffee?" After a shrug, "Okay, so now it's your turn."

She took a sip of her steaming mug before starting, "How was I supposed to take your rejection of my love when you couldn't even find it in yourself to go to dinner with me?"

"That wasn't for the reason you thought." Sparing her the need for asking the next question, "You asked me to dinner right after I decided to have surgery on my ear. I was losing my hearing. My entire life seemed to be falling apart. It wasn't that I didn't know what to do about you, it was that I didn't know what to do about life in general. My work depended on my five senses. If I lost one, I might not have been able to do my job. How is a man supposed to date a woman he can't even take care of?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Not many people did. It was embarrassing enough for me."

"It's not embarrassing Grissom; it's hereditary. Your mother was deaf."

"Genetics or not, it still hurt."

"I imagine it did." Silence passed as they sipped their coffee. He wondered what was going through her mind, and hoped that whatever it was led her toward him and not away from him. His inquiring mind was answered when she softly spoke, "I'd like it if we could spend some time together."

It was as if a weight had been lifted from his chest. "I'd like that, too." He finished his coffee before saying, "I'd better get going. I need to get some sleep. Tomorrow's going to be exhausting enough."

She walked with him to the front door, "What time is the funeral?"

"There's a viewing from one to three, the mass is at four and then there's a graveside funeral immediately following. I'd say it won't end until seven. However long you can be there will be fine."

"I'll pick you up at 12:15."

"No, Sara. That's too much. Who will watch Kimmy?"

"I have a really good babysitter and she's free all day tomorrow and it's not too much. I'll be there at 12:15."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. See you tomorrow."

He quickly glanced at his watch as he took a step out the door onto the porch before turning back toward her. "See you in ten hours." Before he lost his nerve, he leaned in and kissed her cheek before making a quick one eighty and almost jogging to his car.

Yesterday he was given hope for a brighter future.

Today, his future began.


	6. Chapter 6

6

He took one last glimpse in the mirror before answering the door when she knocked. Even though it was for a funeral, she still looked stunning to him in sleek black slacks and a matching tailored sleeveless top. She smiled as she pushed her sunglasses on top of her head, "You shaved you beard off."

"Kimmy said it was scratchy."

With a raised eyebrow, "You shaved your beard for her?"

"Sure, why not? Besides, it was getting kinda hot with all that hair on my face."

"Makes you look younger."

"Really?" She nodded, "Well, even better. Shall we?" After another nod, he put a hand at the small of her back and guided her back toward the driveway. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her car, "Sara Sidle, Miss Practical, has a non-hybrid Chrysler convertible?"

She smirked as she kept walking, saying over her shoulder, "You aren't the only one who's changed a little." Raising his eyebrows, he jogged to catch up with her and climbed into the passenger seat. "I'll put the top up later before we leave for the cemetery, but I thought it would be nice for now." He slipped his sunglasses on before nodding. "Kimmy asked for you this morning. She wanted to know why you weren't there for breakfast." He laughed, "Don't laugh, Grissom. It's only been one day and she's this attached to you. It's just going to get worse."

"Forgive me if I'm wrong about this, but wouldn't Kimmy liking me be beneficial to us if we're going to be spending time together?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"Then why should it bother me that she wants to spend time with me?"

"It's not the fact that she wants to spend time with you, it's the fact that after one day, she wants you to be there every second. She has to realize that when I go back to work next week, she's going to have to stay with the babysitter and you're not going to be around as much."

"Okay, okay. Can we discuss what we want to tell her and then maybe talk to her in a couple days? I'm not really sure I'll be up for that kind of conversation later today."

"That's fine." They pulled into the funeral home parking lot a few minutes later and she looked at him and asked, "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be, I suppose."

True to her word, Sara never left his side from the moment they arrived until the last guest left. A few people had known her and she explained that she was his good friend. He went with that introduction for the remainder of the day, repetitively thanking people for coming and shaking hands.

When they were the only two left in the room, he looked toward the open casket and took a deep breath. She put a hand on his arm and asked, "Do you want a minute?" His only response was to take her hand and gently pull her with him. He knelt before the coffin and let go of her hand, which she placed on his shoulder to let him know she wasn't leaving him.

She waited in silence while he bowed his head. It wasn't until she felt the shudder that she realized he was crying. She moved her hand from his shoulder to his hands that were still folded in front of him. He immediately took hers in his and dropped his forehead to them. When she took a step closer to him and knelt beside him, she was shocked when he willingly turned toward her and buried his head in her neck. He wrapped his arms around her in a tight hold, nearing taking her breath away; but she never complained.

His tears eventually subsided and she pulled him into a standing position, "You okay to walk to the car?"

He took another glance at his mother and whispered, "What am I going to do without her, Sara?"

"You're going to go on living your life and be happy so that when she looks down at you, she'll be proud of the life you've created."

Still looking at his mother, "You know what she told me her one regret was? That she never got to see me fall in love and get married. I hope she gets to see that from wherever she is."

"Me too."

He looked at her then and gave her hand a squeeze, "Thank you…for everything."

"You're welcome. Ready to go to church?" He nodded and they walked to the car hand in hand.

He managed to make it through most of the church service without breaking down as family and friends went to the front to give little remembrances, but when it came time for him to say the final farewell, he was glued to his seat. Sara leaned toward him and whispered that it was his turn to speak, but it was almost as if he didn't hear her. She nudged him a couple more times before realizing that this was a step he couldn't take. Knowing him, she found the inside breast pocket of his jacket and pulled out a sheet of paper. Just as she'd expected, she found a typed speech.

She touched his cheek, whispering, "I'm going to read your speech. If you need me, just wave."

She cleared her throat as she approached the podium at the front of the large church. After scanning the crowd, "My name is Sara Sidle. I'm here today with Dr. Grissom, Anna's son. He has prepared a speech today, which, even though he feels he is unable to give himself, he would like read. Forgive me if I stumble a little, as these are not my words, but his. I will read it as he has written it."

She cleared her throat again, _"When I was younger, even when my father was alive, my mother was always the one that held our family together. Her strength always amazed me, even as a young boy. When she lost her hearing, I thought she would lose that strength, but it just made her stronger. She pushed on through life with more determination than ever."_

"_I've tried to have her strength in life, but admit that I, unlike she, have faltered. A couple years ago, I lost someone dear to me and nearly gave up on living." _She couldn't stop the falter in her voice before she continued. _"It was my mother who pushed me through that part of my life, forcing me to move on. But even though I forged through, it was her strength that kept me going, not my own."_

"_Before she passed away, my mother told me that her only regret was not watching me fall in love and get married. At first, I felt horrible for being the reason for her only regret, but then I realized that her regret was her way to pass her strength on to me. I have always been one to prove myself to my mother, and she knew if she gave me something to prove, a task to succeed at, I would strive to meet the goal she'd set for me." _

"_When she passed away two days ago, I felt her take her strength with her. Again, I gave up. But then life gave me another chance; a chance to prove myself. My mother's strength soon entered me, and now I know that I will forge on."_

"_Thank you, Mom. I will never forget you. I will never stop loving you. And I hope you are watching from wherever you are, because I won't join you until I make your regret disappear." _

She stepped down from the podium, folding the paper as she did, and joined Grissom once again. His hand found hers, and though he never said the words, she knew that meant 'thank you.' They sat hand in hand as the priest gave the final instructions for the processional.

Once given permission, they made their way to the car. He never let go of her hand until he slipped into the passenger's seat. She joined him in the driver's seat, quickly put the top up and drove to the spot she was told to in order to start the line of cars that would be taking the drive to the cemetery.

When the hearse pulled in front of them, he reached for her. She gave him her hand, which he immediately brought to his lap and held with both of his. As they started to move, she felt him stiffen and the grasp he had on her hands tightened. Every few minutes, she glanced over to him and saw that his eyes were glued to the vehicle in front of them. He never moved the entire trip, she wasn't even sure if he blinked.

He inhaled a deep breath as they pulled into the cemetery that he held until the car came to a stop. After he let go of her hand, she got out and went around to open his door. When he didn't move, she knelt down as best she could and put her hand on his knee.

She spoke to him, hoping that he could hear her from wherever his far-off gaze had taken him. "Grissom, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. Anna knows how much you love her and she'll understand if this is too hard." She gave him a few moments then, "Blink if you can hear me." He blinked after a slight hesitation. "Okay. Now blink if you want to just stay here in the car." She waited for several moments, but no blink followed.

A single tear rolled down his cheek before he took a deep breath and turned to her. He took her hand from his knee into his and brought the palm to his lips, leaving a moist reminder that he needed her. She wiped his tear with her other hand before standing, pulling him with her.

Again, they walked hand in hand, this time to stand beside his mother's empty grave. Once he took his place, he let go of her hand and instead wrapped his arm around her waist, drawing her hip against his. She snaked an arm under his suit jacket and leaned her head on his shoulder, understanding that he just needed her close right now.

His back was soaked with perspiration, smothered underneath the many layers of clothes in the almost unbearable heat. Others probably wondered why he'd worn a full suit when most men had chosen a short-sleeved polo or dress shirt, but she understood he'd done it out of respect. His mother had died and the least he could do was suffer in the heat.

They stood, enfolded in each other, as the short service was performed. When the coffin was lowered into the grave, she took the step with him to toss the handful of dirt into the deep hole.

He fell almost instantly asleep as they pulled back onto the road, completely exhausted from the day's events. She smiled as she listened to the gentle snore, the first sound he'd uttered since before they'd stepped into the church, loving the memories it brought back of long double shifts at work. Although she'd never told him, she'd watched him sleep many times as she drove either to or from a crime scene and he caught the few moments of rest he could before needing to be ready for work.

Calmed by the quiet rhythm of his sleep, she wondered whether anyone had ever told him he snored. Had he even spent the night with anyone to find out? His only serious relationship had been in college; maybe he didn't snore back then. Silently, she vowed to tell him one day, when the time was right.

He woke when the car came to a stop in the driveway, just as she knew he would. Without asking whether he needed or wanted her to join him inside, she got out of the car. He followed, this time not needing her to drag him from the car, and walked in silence into the house.

Once inside, she turned to him and wiggled the knot on his tie until it loosened a bit. "Why don't you go upstairs, get out of the hot clothes, take a shower and I'll make something to eat?" He nodded and obediently walked upstairs.

A few minutes later, she heard the shower start and she made her way back out to the car to get the change of clothes she'd brought with her then headed for the phone to call and check on Kimmy.

When the sitter answered, "Hey Julie, it's Sara. Everything okay?"

The teenager answered, "Oh sure. She just finished dinner and we're about to play a game. You still need me to spend the night?"

"If you're able, yes. As I expected, Dr. Grissom didn't do too well today. I don't want to leave him alone tonight."

"You got it. See you in the morning, then?"

"I'll be home by nine. If you need anything, just call me here. The number's on the fridge on a blue note."

"I saw it, but don't worry. We're fine. Bye Sara."

"Bye Julie. Tell Kimmy we said goodnight and that we love her." As she hung up the phone, she suddenly realized how much her life had changed.

Two days ago, it was just she and Kimmy, living contently.

Yesterday, Grissom walked back into her life.

Today, she was glad he was back.

e tooH


	7. Chapter 7

7

He heard the clanking of dishes from the kitchen as he got dressed in his childhood bedroom. Though he seemed to be starting from his lowest of lows, he was feeling better with each passing moment knowing that Sara was there for him. The shower had eased his aching muscles and nagging headache and shedding the heavy layers of clothing and instead donning a pair of black shorts and black t-shirt refreshed him.

He'd looked at the expensive suit several times since coming upstairs, now crumpled in a pile on the floor, and pushed the debate around in his head of whether he would wear it again or not. When he left the room, the suit was still in the same place and his decision still remained to be made.

Instead, he made the decision to join Sara in the kitchen. While he slowly made his way down the old wooden staircase, he looked at the family pictures that lined the wall as he went. So many memories, captured with a camera lens. Memories that could never be replaced in his heart and would remain on his mind forever. But the memories would end with him. He had no one to share the memories with, no one to pass the memories on to. There were no family portraits of him and his wife and child.

He stared at his family portrait, with him as a boy, and suddenly saw himself in his father's place, with Sara in his mother's and Kimmy in his. His heart skipped a beat as he pictured his family. A family that his heart had secretly desired all of these years but had never allowed him to have. But the wall around his heart had fallen freeing him to trust again, to take the chance and search for love.

But he had no need to search. He had already found his love, the woman he wanted to share his memories with, to spend the rest of his life loving, the woman he wasn't afraid to let in at his most vulnerable time. Reaching out, he touched a picture of his mother that was taken some forty years ago, and silently thanked her again for giving him her strength. Her strength was pushing him to gain confidence in himself and the choices he made. And although some choices were made after much debate and some were made without a second thought, or sometimes even a first, he now knew each one would be the right one, one that would carry him to the next step in life.

With that in mind, he completed his decent and headed for the kitchen. He found Sara just as he knew he would, stirring something on the stove that smelled delicious. Without a pause he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, one around her waist and the other crossed over her chest with his hand on her shoulder. Her free hand found his at her waist, and she leaned her weight back into him. It was a simple gesture that he wanted to repeat every day.

"Feel better?"

"I do now."

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, "Good to hear your voice. I was beginning to wonder when I'd hear it again."

"You can hear it whenever you'd like." He watched her stir the soup, mesmerized by her movements and couldn't help his desire to never want to let her go. "Are you very hungry?"

"I'm fine, why?"

"Will this be all right if we wait and eat in a little bit?"

"Uh…yeah. I could let it simmer on low."

"Come with me."

He waited while she gave one last stir, and turned the burner down, then pulled her with him, never loosening his hold. He was careful not to step on her feet as he led her into the back yard. He finally let her go when they got to the hammock and climbed in, reaching his arms out to her. Without a word, she curled up to his side and let him wrap his arms around her.

She felt so perfect against him, her warmth immediately easing his worries away, leaving him peacefully calm. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and pulled her a little closer. Softly, he asked, "Have you called to check on Kimmy?"

"Yes. I called while you were in the shower. She's fine."

"What time do you need to be home? What time is it? I don't even know."

"It's almost eight now and I don't."

"You don't what?"

"I don't have to be home. Julie, the babysitter, is spending the night. I'm not leaving you tonight."

He opened one eye and looked down at her, "You're staying the night?"

Like it was the most natural thing to do, "Of course. You don't need to be alone tonight."

He opened his other eye and lifted her chin with his finger until her eyes met his, "Thank you."

Just above a whisper, "You're welcome." He lowered his lips to her forehead, pausing, savoring the moment, before pulling back and looking into her eyes. His hand moved to the side of her face, slowly brushing back the curls, his fingers slipping through her silky hair then falling to glide down her smooth neck. He was lost in her when she hoarsely whispered his name, "Grissom." He paused and looked deep into her eyes before she continued, "I'm still scared."

"I am too, Honey." The endearment slipped from his tongue, just like it belonged.

"I know today was hard for you, and I understand that you needed me today. And I wanted you to need me, but _I _need to be sure that you're still going to need me tomorrow and the next day."

"I will."

"You say that now, but how do I know? This has been the most traumatic event of your life, probably. How do I even know you're thinking clearly? Maybe you won't even remember this tomorrow. Maybe…"

He interrupted her with a whisper, "Sara. You're rambling. I will need you tomorrow, and the day after, just like I did today and yesterday and the day before that. I needed you years ago; I was just too stupid to know it. Now, be quiet and let me kiss you."

Thankfully, she listened and her eyes closed just before their lips met in the briefest of kisses, lips only joined for mere seconds. The electricity shot through him, as though he'd experienced his very first kiss and when he looked into her eyes again, they were swirling, sparkling cyclones. He gave her a half smile before pushing her head back onto his shoulder and pulling her close again. She laid her hand flat against his chest, heat permeating the thin t-shirt and he ran his fingers through her hair.

They laid there in silence until darkness fell, lost in each other and the feelings they were both still trying to sort out. When they finally gave in to the night, they slowly headed indoors hand in hand.

When they both sat down at the table with the dinner she'd prepared, the ringing of the phone interrupted their silence. They both stood at the same time and she explained, "It could be Julie. I gave her this number in case something happened."

He sat back down as she went to the phone, not wanting to answer it anyway, and listened to her end of the conversation, hoping nothing was wrong, "Hello…Uh, yes he is…hold on a second."

He mouthed the words 'who is it?' when she handed him the phone. After she shrugged, he said into the phone, "Grissom."

"Hey, Gil! It's your old buddy Jim. How's it goin'? How's your mother doing?"

He glanced at Sara while he answered, "Hi, Jim." Her eyes widened. "Uh…Mom passed away a couple days ago. The funeral was today."

"Aw, jeez, Gil. That's too bad. How you holdin' up?"

"I'm doing okay."

"Good to know you aren't alone. Who was that, that answered the phone?"

"Are you alone?"

"Sure, in my office. Why?"

He blew out a deep breath before responding, "It's Sara." Her eyes widened further and he held up a hand.

"Sara? Our Sara?"

He stood to walk around the table when he realized she was holding her breath and knelt beside her. He turned her chin toward him, forcing her to look at him as he spoke into the phone, "Listen, Jim. You have to keep this to yourself. No one knows she's here. I didn't know she was here. We just ran into each other and she's been helping me out these past couple days. When she's ready, maybe she'll get in contact, but until then, it's just you and me, okay?"

"Hey! I got it. You know I got your back. I haven't let a secret slip for all these years, don't know why I'd start now."

"I know. Thanks, Jim."

"Tell her I said I miss her and to call when she can."

"I will."

"You two need anything, just let me know."

"Okay."

"Bye, Gil. And, hey! Sorry about your mom, but I'm happy you found Sara along the way."

"Me too. Bye Jim." With that, he set down the phone and said to her, "He says he misses you and to call when you can." She still said nothing. "He won't say anything, Sara. Trust me, he's good at keeping secrets."

That peeked her interest, "Yeah? What kind of secrets?" She gave him a sly smile before he stood to take his seat across from her.

"My secrets."

"Like?"

He thought for a minute before, "Okay. I'll tell you one of my secrets if you'll tell me one of yours."

She twisted her mouth in thought before answering. "Deal. But it has to be good."

He nodded and thought about what he wanted to tell her while he took a few spoons of his soup. He finally settled with, "After I found out that Hank had been cheating on you, I had Jim bring him in on a bogus charge and threatened his life if he ever came near you again."

She smirked and almost immediately responded, "The last time Terri Miller was here, she asked me to give a message about having dinner with her. I told her to go to hell."

They both burst into laughter before he asked, "Another?" She nodded, enjoying their little game as much as he was. "Okay." He thought for a moment then, "I bought you a plane ticket to go with me to a three-day seminar the fall before you left, but I chickened out and never asked you."

"Two days before I left I watched you change your shirt in the break room. When you left, I took the one you'd just taken off out of your locker. I still have it."

He was shocked. "The gray polo with the black collar?"

"Yep."

"I looked for that forever."

She shrugged, "Sorry."

His brow furrowed, "How did you get into my locker?"

Matter-of-factly, "With the combination. It was your mother's birthday."

"How did you know that?"

"You read my file. So I read yours. Your mother was the beneficiary for your life insurance and her birthday was listed, 3/4/34. It explained why you took March third thru fifth off every year and when I saw you on two separate occasions put part of that date in, I figured it out."

"Why that shirt?"

"Because I knew I was leaving and you had just taken it off. It smelled like you. I slept with it until the smell wore off."

"You are full of secrets."

"So are you."

"It's getting late. How about coffee in the living room?"

"Decaf?"

"Sure. I'll make it. You go make yourself comfortable."

As he watched he leave the room, his heart skipped s beat.

Three years ago, he didn't know he'd miss her if she left.

Two years ago, she left and he missed her.

Two days ago, he found her and realized he missed her even more than he thought he had.

Today, she was with him, and he missed her when she walked out of the room.


	8. Chapter 8

8

When he found her curled up on the couch with one of his entomology textbooks on her nearly bare lap, he froze. Although he was sure she was wearing at least a pair of shorts underneath his gray t-shirt, he couldn't make it past the vision of the hem curving over her thigh.

The clearing of his throat pulled her from her reading. She smiled at him as he spoke, "I believe you have a problem with stealing my shirts."

"Do _you_ have a problem with it?"

He winked, "Not at all." He walked to the couch, handed her a cup of coffee and gestured next to her, "May I?"

She pulled her feet even tighter to her, even though there was no need, and nodded her head. Once he sat down, she stretched her feet across his lap and went back to her reading while she slowly sipped the heavily sweetened liquid. "Mmm. You remembered."

"Black with enough sugar kill a diabetic instantly." Absentmindedly, he ran his free hand up and down her long leg while she read, feeling as though he could keep doing it for a lifetime.

He looked up when she closed the book and dropped it on the floor beside her. "Boring?"

"No, I'd just rather talk to you. I finished the section I was reading."

"Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yeah. Tell me something about yourself."

He thought for a moment then patted her legs as he scooted forward. He disappeared out of the room and returned a few seconds later with a photo album. He resumed his seat, she scooted closer and leaned her head on his shoulder as he flipped the book open.

The pictures were old and faded, but priceless. She listened as he pointed to various shots, named names and told stories.

The first picture he pointed to was of a sleeping baby wrapped tightly in a blanket, "That, is me on August 17th, 1956, the day I was born." He scanned a few pictures before pointing to another, "That's my parents and I on my first birthday. They left me too close to the cake and I slammed my hand into the middle. There was chocolate frosting everywhere, or so my mother said." He flipped through a couple more pages before pointing out another picture, "That is me on my fifth birthday getting my very first ant farm. There was no turning back after that."

"You had really curly hair."

"Mmm. Still do, that's why it's so short." He continued to flip through the pages, sharing his memories for the first time. He told her stories about finding dead animals and dissecting them, collecting bugs in jars and always getting in trouble in school for not paying attention because he was too busy reading a science book. There was the story about his mother's hearing loss and the time they spent learning sign language together, the tragic death of his father and his first job in a coroner's office.

Before they knew it, they had gone through two more photo albums and it was well past midnight. When Sara tried to unsuccessfully stifle a yawn he said, "It's late. Let's get you to bed. I'm sure you want to be home early in the morning." She merely nodded and took his outstretched hand.

When they reached the guest room, he pulled her into his embrace, saying, "Thank you again for today. I couldn't have done this without you."

"You're welcome."

He kissed her nose before pointing at the door across the hall, "If you need me, that's my room."

"Okay."

"Don't leave in the morning without waking me, okay?"

"I wouldn't do that."

"Goodnight, Sara."

"Night Gris." She pushed up slightly on her toes and brushed her lips across his before turning quickly into the room and crawling into bed.

With a satisfied smirk on his face, he went into his room and closed the door so he could change. Normally, he would have kept the door closed, but after donning a pair of cotton shorts, he opened the door halfway, making sure Sara wouldn't feel awkward about entering if she needed to.

He barely remembered his head hitting the pillow, falling asleep almost instantly. But he hadn't been asleep long when he heard a bump in the night. He slowly opened his eyes, trained to not make any sudden movements, but when he saw that it was Sara creeping into his room, a smile spread across his face. He watched as she tiptoed through the room, forcing himself not to laugh as she stumbled on the suit he'd left crumpled on the floor.

When she finally neared the edge of the bed, she reached her hand out toward him and gasped when he grabbed it and pulled her toward him. She stumbled and fell practically on top of him before yelling, "Grissom! You scared the crap out of me!"

He held her tight as she wriggled, "Well, that's what you get for creeping around a man's room in the middle of the night." She finally gave up the fight and stilled, "Now, is there something you needed?"

"I couldn't sleep."

Immediately concerned, he loosened his hold and put a hand on her cheek, "Is something wrong?"

"I…well…"

"Tell me, Sara."

With a huff, "I miss Kimmy. I know it sounds crazy, but I've never spent the night away from her."

He tucked some hair behind her ear, "It doesn't sound crazy. Why didn't you say anything before?"

"I didn't miss her until I was lying there all by myself."

"All right, let's go." He flipped her to his side and started to get out of bed.

"Go? Go where?"

"Your house."

She scrambled out of bed to catch his arm just as he was slipping a t-shirt over his head, "No, we don't have to do that. I'll be okay."

"No, Sara. We're going. You miss your daughter and that's not a memory I want you to attach to me. And I'm sure not gonna let you drive alone when you're exhausted and you've had no sleep at all." He pulled the shirt over his head, walked to his dresser and pulled out a change of clothes before turning to her, still frozen in place. "Go get your bag. You don't have to get dressed. I have to go to the bathroom. I'll meet you downstairs in a minute."

He left the room without giving her time to respond, satisfied that he had held his ground. When he joined her a few minutes later at the front door she whispered, "Thank you."

He smiled and cupped her chin, "You're very welcome."

Without argument, she let him drive her car and they remained silent during the trip to her place. They were quiet as they entered the dark house and tiptoed up the stairs to Kimmy's bedroom. He waited by the door while she went in and pulled the covers over her daughter. After she kissed her forehead, she joined him in the hall again and he followed her as she led him into a bedroom.

She whispered, "Julie is in the guest room. You can sleep in my room and I'll go sleep with Kimmy."

He was about to protest when they both turned suddenly toward the door as it was pushed open. Kimmy walked in rubbing her eyes, "Mommy?"

Sara rushed to her and gathered her into her arms, "Hey, what are you doing up?"

"I woke up and I missed you."

Standing with her daughter in her arms, "I missed you, too. That's why Mr. Grissom brought me home early."

At the mention of his name, sleepy little eyes searched for him in the dark. When she spotted him, she reached out her arms to him. He went to her without hesitation and took her into his embrace. "Hey, Sweetie."

She immediately perked up, "Are you spending the night, Mr. Grissom?"

"Yep."

"Can I sleep with you and Mommy?"

His eyes shot to Sara's, unsure of how to answer that. She saw the panic and came to his rescue, though her answer was not what he expected, "As long as you promise to go right to sleep."

"I promise."

Grissom took the few steps needed to bridge the gap between himself and the bed and set Kimmy down after Sara pulled back the sheets. She quickly scooted to the middle of the bed and curled into a ball. Sara glanced at him before crawling in the opposite side of the bed as he and smiled when he followed suit. He pulled the blankets up over the three of them, still shocked by the sequence of events and kissed Kimmy on the back of the head before drifting off to sleep.

In the past, he'd never fantasized about sharing a bed with two females.

Tonight, as he fell asleep next to the little girl that had found a place in his heart, he realized what the fantasy was all about.


	9. Chapter 9

9

Sunshine filtered through the room, rousing him from his deep sleep, awakening his senses. There was a cool breeze floating through the room and the birds were chirping a happy song as the waves crashed along the beach. He slowly opened his eyes, gazing at the little body curled up against his side.

At some point during the night, she had snuggled herself under his arm and her head was now on his shoulder, her warm, short breaths tickling his bare neck. She was his perfect little bundle of joy. Someone who knew none of his faults and only thought of him in a good light.

From there, his vision wandered to the other side of the bed. But he was shocked when he found only an empty spot where Sara had been last night. He scanned the room and quickly found a clock. Seeing that it was a little after nine, he immediately started to get up. But just as he was about to try and maneuver away from Kimmy, Sara walked through the doorway, still wearing his t-shirt.

He met her with a smile and an outstretched hand. She crawled back into bed, this time beside him, and whispered, "Julie had to go. She didn't even know we'd come home until she checked on Kimmy this morning."

"We're not leaving her overnight with her again."

"_We_ aren't?"

"No, _we _aren't." She kissed him quickly before snuggling into him, enjoying the slow rhythm of him running his hand through her hair. How had he gone from a man who needed his three feet of personal space at all times to a man who didn't mind sharing a bed with a little girl and her mother? Her answer came without the spoken question, "I think I might be the luckiest guy on the planet at this exact moment."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. What other guy woke up this morning and is lying in bed with the two most beautiful girls in the world?"

"I feel pretty lucky myself right now."

"Good."

They laid there, immersed in each other, enjoying the simple beauty of being together, before Kimmy stirred at his side. He watched as she yawned and stretched her short arms above her head then lazily opened her eyes. When her eyes met his, she smiled and reached out to touch his face saying, "You're beard is gone."

"That's right. I shaved it off for you."

"It's still scratchy."

He chuckled, loving her bluntness, "That's because men have to shave every morning cause the hair grows over night."

"Oh, okay." There was only a short pause before, "Can we have breakfast, now?"

He looked to Sara who replied, "Sure, you go to the bathroom and brush your teeth and we'll go downstairs when you're done."

She scrambled out of bed and ran out of the room before Sara looked at him again, "We're gonna have to have that talk soon, especially now that you spent the night."

He brushed his free hand along her cheek, "I'm not going to hurt her, Sara."

"I know. I can see it in your eyes."

A devilish grin developed on his face, "Oh yeah? What else can you see in my eyes?"

Her smile matched his, "What do you want me to see?"

Without hesitation, "This." His lips captured hers, gentle at first, teasing. He pulled her on top of him and pushed both hands into her hair, his thumbs still caressing her cheeks. He felt her sink into him, giving in to the passion they both felt. His tongue gently parted her lips, demanding entry, begging to taste her. She willingly opened to him, surrendering to the need she'd secretly always wanted him to have for her.

They could have remained in bed all morning, but the moment abruptly ended when Kimmy jumped back onto the bed, saying, "Hey! You said we were going to have breakfast!" They both broke into a fit of laughter when she put one hand on her hip and pointed a finger at him and said, "You were kissing my mommy!"

He tried to stifle his laughter when he responded, "Yes I was. Is that okay with you?"

The moment got deathly serious with her next question, "Does this mean you and Mommy are getting married?"

He felt Sara completely freeze on top of him, and even thought she stopped breathing. Knowing he was going to have to handle this one on his own, he chose his words carefully, "Sit down a second, Kimmy." She sat beside him and he pushed himself and Sara into an upright position, who made a move to get off his lap, but he held her firmly in place. She quickly gave up the struggle, not having made much of an effort to begin with, and made herself comfortable on his lap.

Once they were situated, "Your mommy is very special to me, and so are you, and I would like to spend some times with both of you if that's okay. But that does not mean that we're getting married yet."

"Yet? So maybe some day?"

Shocked at her ability to pick up on little things, "Maybe someday."

She shrugged, "Okay."

He reached for her and gathered her into a hug. "Good. Now how about we go make breakfast?"

Again, she scrambled out of bed, running for the door. He turned to Sara, who was giving him her wide, gapped-tooth smile that he adored, "How'd I do?"

"On a scale of one to ten, I'd say nine."

"Nine is good. What could I have done to make it a ten?"

"You told her we might get married some day and we haven't even broached the subject of our future. We've barely touched the present."

"I…I'm not good at this, Sara. I'm trying to be. But I haven't dated anyone in over twenty-five years. In school, when a guy wanted a girl to know he was serious, he gave her his class ring. Now, giving a woman a ring means you want to marry them. This side of asking you to marry me, what am I supposed to do to make you realize that I see you in my future?"

"Do you?"

"See you in my future? Yes, every day."

"Maybe sometime you can tell me what you see."

"I'd like that."

She kissed him soundly on the lips then, "Now, we'd better get downstairs before we get yelled at again."

"I'll be down in a minute. I need to go to the bathroom first."

"Take a shower if you want. Breakfast will be at least fifteen, twenty minutes." She disappeared out the door and he headed for the bathroom, loving the path his life was taking.

Fifteen minutes later, and freshly showered and shaved, he made his way into the kitchen, following the enticing smell of French toast and eggs. After pouring himself a cup of coffee, he walked up behind her, wrapped an arm around her waist, kissed the side of her neck and asked, "Anything I can do?"

"Everything's about done. Do you want to pour some juice?"

"Sure." But he didn't let go just then, "I see this."

She needed no further explanation, having spent years following his threads of conversation. A shiver ran down her spine as he kissed her neck once more before setting his coffee on the table. Somehow, the man who everyone thought would die alone, loving his solitude, saw his future mornings being spent with a family. Chuckling to herself, she wondered why it had taken them so long to realize they both saw the same future.

After breakfast, Kimmy ran to her room to change into her bathing suit, ready for the daily trip down to the beach to play in the sand. Grissom took the opportunity to gather Sara in his arms.

"I have some stuff I have to take care of today, closing Mom's accounts and such. Any chance I can see you guys later?"

"I'd like that."

"Is it easier if I come over here, or would you like to go out or come to my place?"

"Probably easier to keep Kimmy occupied here, and she also goes to bed early. Besides, if you're leaving, that means you're taking my car."

"Good point. That okay with you?"

After a nod, "Dinner?"

"I'll call as soon as I know what time I'll be here."

"Okay."

Kimmy came barreling down the stairs, and he turned to scoop her up, "I gotta go do some stuff. I'll be back later, okay?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"'Kay." She flung her arms around his neck and quickly hopped down.

He pulled Sara toward him, and with a sparkle in his eye, "I'll miss you."

Giggling like a schoolgirl, "It's only for a few hours."

Pulling her tighter to him, wrapping both arms around her, "I miss you from across the room." He stared into her eyes, loving that he'd stunned her into silence then lowered his lips to hers. The moan she emitted when his tongue teased her lips, was enough to drive him wild. Knowing if he didn't let her go then, he never would, he pressed his lips firmly against hers before pulling away and quickly turning to leave.

Once he was seated in the car, he let out the breath he was holding in. This was why relationships were so difficult for him. He needed her, and he had no idea how he'd gotten to this point. His heart had completely taken over, and his mind had lost control. This is why he'd always said you couldn't get emotionally involved in a case. Because once emotions came into play, rational thought always lost the battle. That's how he'd fallen for Sara.

Catherine had told him to get his head out of the microscope. Sara had all but begged for him to notice her; not the CSI, but the woman. And somehow, having only taken tiny baby steps, he started to care. He cared that she was a vegetarian, that cases involving battered women affected her because they reminded her of her mother, that her favorite color was purple, that he'd hurt her so much he'd driven her to drink. And now, his heart had not only won the battle, but also the war. There was no thinking involved, only the need his heart had for her to be part of him, his heart, his future.

In the past, he'd only dreamed about her being in his future.

Today, he was determined that she would be.


	10. Chapter 10

10

He called her around five to let her know he probably wouldn't make it for dinner. Each of the people he was trying to meet ran late to the scheduled appointments, even the ones he pushed back to make up for the previous one running over. He was tired and aggravated and still had another meeting to go before calling an end to the night. Sensing his stress, she told him she'd have a plate for him when he got there, but they wouldn't wait to eat.

When he finally showed up a little after eight, his muscles were tense and his head was aching. He was leaning against the doorframe when Sara opened the door and pulled him inside. From any other source, a loud noise would have infuriated him, but the sound of Kimmy yelling his name as she ran toward him only made him smile. She jumped into his open arms when she got to him and he hugged her close, feeling his tension slip slowly away. Sara wasn't the only person he needed anymore.

As he set her back on the floor she asked, "Wanna watch my movie with me?"

"I'm going to eat dinner, then I'll be back out, okay?"

She nodded before running back and flopping herself onto the couch. He silently followed Sara into the kitchen where she pulled a plate from the fridge. Interrupting her path back to fridge after she placed the plate in the microwave, he pulled her into his arms instead. He enveloped her in his embrace, pressing every inch of her body to his, needing her as close as possible.

She wrapped her arms around his waist, only pulling herself tighter to him and whispered into his chest, "Rough day?"

"Yes. Never let me do things like that on my own again, okay? I needed you with me."

She silently nodded against his chest. They stood in silence, comforted by the other's embrace until the beeping of the microwave stole their moment. He reluctantly let her go, feeling immediately as though he was missing something.

They sat together at the breakfast bar and talked while he ate the casserole she'd prepared for him. With elbows on the counter and her chin resting against her hands she asked, "So, other than the fact that everyone was late, which I know you hate, did everything else go all right?"

"I suppose. Nothing was very hard, I just had to go through all the necessary paperwork to get everything done."

"Is there anything else that needs to be taken care of?"

"I don't think so." He went down a checklist in his mind, hoping Sara would think of anything he hadn't. "Her bank account was cashed out and the funds were transferred to mine. I wrote and mailed out all the checks to charity that she requested and I paid off the one credit card she had. All of the household bills have been transferred into my name and the house now belongs to me. Her life insurance policy is being directly deposited into my account at the bank and I paid the funeral bill in cash. I guess all I have to do now is go through the house and figure out what can be given to charity or thrown away then I have to figure out whether I want to sell or not."

"There's no other family that would want anything to remember her by?"

"No. She had a few very close friends that she asked be given something. Maybe I'll call them tomorrow to see if they'd like anything in particular."

"Well, I go back to work next Wednesday, but until then I'd be glad to help you out going through stuff at the house if that will help."

"Thanks. That would be nice." There was a short pause before, "You know, I just realized that I have no idea where you work."

"I teach eleventh and twelfth grade physics."

"I didn't know you minored in education."

"Yep. With Kimmy, I had to find a day job. I knew even if I switched to the day shift as a CSI, I would still work long hours. The pay's not nearly the same, but I saved a lot over the years and we're doing fine. Once she gets a little older, maybe I'll make a change and do something that will bring in a little more cash, but for now, I really like it. Summer school starts on Wednesday and runs for three and a half weeks."

"So, then you get more time off until the regular school years starts?"

"Yeah, five more weeks."

They fell into silence as he finished the rest of his dinner then, "Kimmy goes to bed in about twenty minutes. Wanna head out and spend a little time with her before bedtime?"

He nodded then set his plate in the sink before both of them joined Kimmy in the living room. She immediately gave him room to sit with her on the couch and then crawled onto his lap while Sara curled up next to them saying, "I think I've been replaced."

He kissed her on the forehead and replied, "No one can replace you."

They were silent for a few minutes until Kimmy suddenly jolted up. "Can I give it to him now, Mommy?"

"Yes you can."

She ran out of the room and upstairs before he had the chance to ask, "Give me what?"

"You'll see. She made something for you during quiet time."

He didn't have to wait much longer before she came flying back down the stairs and stood in front on him with something behind her back. "Close your eyes," she said. Once they were closed, he heard the rustling of paper, then, "Open."

She had drawn a picture of him and put hearts and bug stickers all over the page. On top was 'Mr. Grissom' in her handwriting. "Thank you very much, Kimmy. I love it!"

"I made it today. I practiced my letters and asked Mommy how to spell your name."

"It's perfect."

Once they put Kimmy to bed a few minutes later and her story was read, they both headed back to the couch. He sat on one end and she made a move to curl up with him, but he stopped her with, "Wait. I have something for you."

She protested as he reached into his pocket, "Grissom. You don't have to buy me something every time you come over."

"I didn't buy you anything." He reached his open palm out to her, revealing his gift, "It's my college ring. It's big and bulky, and I don't expect you to actually wear it, but I want you to have it."

She took the ring from his hand, "Thank you. This means a lot to me."

"Me too. I do see you in my future Sara. I want to be with you and I'll do whatever it takes to prove that to you. I know I've made a whole list of terrible mistakes and I've hurt you more times than I care to admit, but when you left I realized that I can't live without you. I never should have let you slip away from me, and now that I've found you again, the only thing I know for sure is that I can't lose you again. You're a part of me. A part of me I didn't even know existed until you left and took it with you. I've been missing a part of who I am for these past couple years; I could actually feel the empty spot in my life. Now that you're here with me, I finally feel complete again. Please tell me that you'll give us a chance. I know I have no right to ask but…"

She put a finger to his lips to silence him, "Grissom, you're rambling." He smiled and kissed her finger. "We have a lot of talking to do. A lot of figuring out what the hell happened. But I've figured something out over these past couple years without you. For some reason, I'd rather spend the rest of my life with you, trying to figure out if we'll ever make it, than spend the rest of my life without you worrying whether it ever could have."

"I won't let you down, Sara, ever again."

With a smile, "That's a start." He returned her smile and she asked, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why were you able to go out to dinner with Sophia and not me?"

He knew the questions were coming, and that they would get harder as time went on, and he was willing to answer every one asked without argument. "Because I wasn't afraid of getting emotionally involved with her like I was you."

"But you had to have known she was interested in you."

"Honestly, no. I never saw her that way, and I didn't realize until after we went to dinner that she was romantically interested in me. My interest in her was purely work related. She had a different approach to handling a crime scene than I had ever seen and I wanted to observe her technique. Once I realized she had other intentions, I backed off."

"If you were so afraid of getting emotionally involved with me, why did you save my job all the times that you did?"

"Because I pushed you to make all of the mistakes you made. You got caught drunk driving because I was too much of a coward to give you a substantial reason why I promoted Nick over you. You put in for the leave of absence because I ignored you to the point of making you feel unneeded. You exploded at Catherine and Ecklie because you had all that pent up anger toward me. It was my fault entirely. I knew that, even then. I didn't understand it fully, but I knew it."

"Do you understand it now?"

"Mostly, yes." He paused. "I do have one question, though."

"Okay."

"The night I brought you home after you got pulled over, I offered to stay with you, to spend the night. Why did you refuse?"

"I wanted you to stay. But I wanted you to stay because you loved me, or at least cared for me, not because you thought it was the right thing to do."

"I was offering because I cared, if that makes a difference."

She smiled meekly, "Thanks, it does."

He waited a few moments before reaching for her hand and tugging it toward him, "Come here."

She climbed onto his lap and he brushed the hair back from her face before saying, "Never doubt that I care for you." He loved her; there was no doubt about it. But knowing it and saying it out loud were worlds apart in his mind. For now, he needed her to know he had deep feelings for her.

"I won't."

She pressed her lips to his before he could say anything else and this time it was her tongue that slipped between his lips, delving into his mouth. He opened his mouth to her, loving the way her tongue felt dancing with his and sliding along his teeth. Tilting his head to the side, he let her deepen her exploration, tasting and touching every inch of his mouth.

He was shocked when she abruptly broke their contact. Reaching over him, she placed the ring he'd given her on the end table and then repositioned herself over him, straddling his lap. His heart jumped into his throat when he realized the step they were about to make. Huskily he whispered, "It's been a long time since I made out with a girl."

Holding up two fingers, "Two rules. Number one, quiet because Kimmy is upstairs. Number two, no marks. I hate that." He swallowed hard when she lowered her lips to his chin, leaving a hot, wet trail of kisses along his jaw line and up to his ear. When she gently bit at his earlobe and then sucked it into her mouth, he couldn't stop the sharp intake of breath and the shudder that ran up and down his spine.

Finally finding movement, he ran his hands up and down her back, kneading as he went. He pulled her against him when she attacked the side of his neck, feeling shock run through his body. She froze on his lap when his tongue found its way to the soft, bare skin of her neck, licking and teasing, kissing and nibbling. He found new courage when one of his hands slipped under her shirt, meeting bare flesh, and she moaned into his neck. Quickly running both hands up her back, her found her shoulders and pulled her sideways, giving him access to the other side of her neck.

Passion erupted between them both like a violent volcano, lips and tongues seeking any available flesh, always searching for the untouched, hands pressing and grasping, trying to find any way to get closer to one another. When her fingers met with the curling hair on his chest, he felt his control start to slip away. His mind raced, telling him to stop before it was too late, but the tantalizing brushes of her fingertips across his chest were an action no man could deny. His head fell back when her lips moved down his chest, teasing the skin that was revealed by the open buttons of his polo.

Stopping was becoming more and more out of sight as his hands dipped lower and toyed with the waistband of her shorts. It was the husky whisper of his name that caused him to grab his last shred of self-control. It wasn't a request to stop, but a plea to give her more. His body wanted him to give in to her need, fulfill the desire that she obviously had for him. But his heart needed to wait, wait for passion to become spoken words of love and devotion as they took the most intimate step of their lives together.

With all the strength he could find, he grasped her waist and gently pushed her away. The passion swirled in her eyes, making his words seem almost harsh. "We…I need to stop." The unspoken question in her eyes made his heart break. "There are still too many questions you need answered, too many things I need to explain. This isn't a step I take lightly. It means a whole lot more to me than…a role in the hay."

Her brow furrowed, "Is that what you think it means to me?"

His hands immediately went to her face, "No! That's not what I'm trying to say." His head hung for a few moments before he said, almost to himself, "Wow, I really am horrible at this." After a deep breath, he looked into her eyes again, "What I am trying to say is that, when we…make love…I need it to be just that, love. I'm not denying that I am incredibly attracted to you, or that, as a man, I could ravish you this very second, but I am saying that, as far as our relationship goes, I need to wait."

A smile widened across her face, "I think you're better at this than you give yourself credit for."

"Really?"

"Really." She kissed him before asking, "Does this mean you're not staying tonight?"

"I think, under the circumstances, I need to go home." She silently nodded. "Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" After a shake of her head, "Good. How about, since I have your car still, I pick you guys up in the morning? We'll go get breakfast then you can come over to my place. Bring a couple things to keep Kimmy occupied and maybe you could help me go through some stuff."

"Okay." She walked him to the door and he gave her one last kiss before leaving.

His body was scolding him as he got into the car.

Twenty minutes ago, he could have been entwined in bed with the love of his life.

Now, he was heading home to a cold shower and a lonely, empty bed.


	11. Chapter 11

11

By mid afternoon, they had made major progress. All of Anna's clothes were bagged and ready to be taken to the local donation center, the bed was stripped of sheets and the mattresses ready to be picked up on the next garbage collection day, stacks of old newspapers and magazines were tied into bundles and ready to go with the recycling and all of her various toiletries had gone into the trash. With all the bills having been finalized, they'd emptied out the file cabinet and desk drawers and packed everything in a box to be stored in the garage for a while in case something came up or easily burned when the time came.

The knock on the door came as suspected, having called Anna's friends over to collect whatever memory they wished. The four older women, all with gray and silver hair pulled back into a proper bun, shuffled into the house when he opened the door as if playing 'follow the leader.' Looking as though they prepared their outfits together, each wore a calf-length skirt and short-sleeved blouse in various shades of grays and black.

Somehow as he looked at the aged picture before him, he did not see his mother fitting in with the severely wrinkled clan. Even moments before her death she had only a few more wrinkles than he and could easily have passed as his older sister rather than his mother. Her silver hair, always bouncing with curls, was cut shorter than most women in her generation and was generally only pulled back from her face with clips. Her wardrobe had adapted with time as she had, giving way to the decade of clothing that stood before him.

Once they were all inside, he was immediately rendered speechless when they all broke into tears in almost the same instant. Handkerchiefs were removed from large purses and dabbed along eyes and cheeks and he did the only thing he knew to do; he yelled, "Sara! Could you come in here please?"

She came in an instant, Kimmy at her heels. "What's wrong?"

He gestured toward the women, "Uh…"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. They just…"

One woman finally spoke, wiping her tears away with one last swish, "We're very sorry, Dear. It's just that we were very close to Anna and being here brings back so many memories."

Kimmy tugged at his shirt and he obediently lifted her into his arms. To the women, "Uh…Mother left specific instructions with me to make sure the four of you were given something to remember her by. I have to admit that I don't know the nature of any of your relationships, so I wouldn't even know where to begin to select something for you. If you have something you'd specifically like, I will do my best to help you find it, or if you prefer, you can look around and then let me know."

The women all exchanged looks before the same woman finally spoke up, "I'm Agatha."

"I'm sorry. Mother would scold me for not making proper introductions." Taking Sara's hand, "This is Sara Sidle and her daughter, Kimmy."

Nodding her head, "We met Sara at the funeral." Then to Sara, "You have a very beautiful daughter. And we're very glad Gil has finally found someone to share his life with, especially someone as successful and well mannered as you. Anna would have loved you, I'm sure."

A blush rose to Sara's cheeks, "Thank you very much. Anna and I did meet a couple times, though it was before Gil moved back to the area. She was very kind." He was both thankful that she didn't deny a relationship between them and shocked at hearing his first name roll from her tongue. Later, he decided, he would tell her how nice it sounded.

Agatha continued, "I'm not sure about the rest of the girls, but there is a quilt Anna and I made together and I would love to have it, if that's all right."

He reassured her, "Anything you'd like."

"It's the one over the green chair in her bedroom."

Sara squeezed his hand, "I'll get it."

She left before the next woman spoke, "I'm Elizabeth and it would mean a lot to me if I could have the hummingbird wind chime that is hung on the back porch. We sat out there a lot and talked."

"Of course. I'll get it for you in just a moment."

The next woman stepped forward tentatively, "My name is Jessica." She sniffled just a bit before continuing, "Anna had a lovely broach that I would…" Her voice trailed and tears started to fall again.

He spoke softly, "I understand. Her jewelry box is in her room. Would you like to go pick it out?"

Kimmy squirmed in his arms, "I remember where it is."

He set her down, "Good. Will you take Jessica upstairs and help her look?"

She nodded her head and headed for the stairs, looking behind her once to make sure she was being followed. Sara passed them on the bottom step and gave him a quizzical look that he waved away. Without question, she handed the blanket to Agatha and stepped back to stand beside him.

The final lady finally stepped forward and began to sign, _"Hello. I'm Marie_."

He signed back as Sara watched in amazement, _"Hello, Marie. Very nice to meet you."_

"Anna and I were in the same book club. I know this may sound silly, but I would love to have her copy of the last book we read. It was her favorite and she was the one who suggested we read it."

"_The library is the third door on the left once you get upstairs, but I'm sure you know that. Please take your time."_

The woman walked upstairs, and without a moment's hesitation, he turned to another in the group, waving toward the kitchen, "Elizabeth, if you'll follow me, we'll go get your wind chime."

It wasn't long before all of the women were leaving, shuffling out the same way they'd come, only with their hands full this time.

Once he shut the door, "Will you teach me?"

He turned to her with a raised eyebrow, "Teach you what?"

"To sign."

With a quirky smile and a tilt of his head, "You want to learn?"

"I was watching you and I remembered that case we had a few years back when I saw you sign for the first time. It's beautiful."

He cleared his throat and made an attempt to bring back very old memories, "Since when are you interested in beauty?"

The smile that spread across her face and the sparkle in her eyes showed his attempt had been successful even before her response, "Since I met you."

She stepped into his open arms, "I'd love to teach you to sign. Of course, it may take me ten or maybe fifteen…years or so to teach you everything I know."

She giggled into his chest, "That would be okay."

"It would?"

"Sure."

"Good to know."

Their attention was drawn to the top of the staircase where Kimmy yelled, "Mommy, Daddy, look at me!"

Sara looked up and immediately burst into laughter as Kimmy did a little sashay, showing off her many jewels, large hat and fancy purse. But he stood frozen, his world having stopped when he heard the word, 'daddy.' His brain barely registered a conversation going on around him, but what it was about, he couldn't say. Had Sara not heard what Kimmy had said? Did she totally miss the pronoun that had been used in place of his name? Surely she hadn't missed something as huge as that.

He was shaken from his thoughts by Sara's hand on his arm, "Grissom? You okay? Did you hear Kimmy?"

Shocked, "Did you?"

She chuckled, "Yes. That's why I was laughing. What's wrong?"

Her eyes widened when Kimmy asked, "What's wrong, Daddy?" Sara flew up the stairs faster than she knew she could, scooped her daughter up and carried her into the bedroom.

For a few moments he just stood there, unsure of what his next move should be. His mind raced, wondering which emotion was the correct one to react upon. Was it right for his heart to skip a beat with the thought of being Kimmy's daddy? Should he go to her and gather her in his arms on the verge of tears and tell her just how much he loved her or should he go to her and make it clear that he was not her daddy and make her explain why she had called him that? He had spent his life solving puzzles and coming to the most practical decisions, but when it came to this one little girl, his rationalization skills seemed to disappear.

After a frustrated deep breath, he slowly climbed the stairs. He stopped at the doorway and watched as Sara removed all of the jewelry and at the same time demanded answers from her daughter, "Kimmy, why did you call Mr. Grissom 'daddy'?"

Her little lip quivered and tears loomed on her lower lids. "Are you mad at me, Mommy?"

"No, Honey, I'm not. I just need to know why you said that."

Her tears fell, slowly gliding down her red cheeks leaving salty trails behind them. "Why can't he be my daddy, Mommy?"

Never stopping the endless removal of jewelry, "It's not that easy, Honey. You don't just get to pick your daddy."

"But I love my daddy."

The sniffle that followed stole his heart and he barely held back the tears he felt rising in his throat, "I love you too." Sara's head whipped around to see him leaning against the doorframe. "Don't cry, Pumpkin." He watched as she wiped away the tears with the back of her little hands.

She sniffled a few times before asking in a shaky voice, "Why did you call me Pumpkin?"

Smiling, "If you can call me daddy, can't I call you Pumpkin?" Her bottom lip poked out and her shoulders shook as her tears started to fall again. He closed the distance between them, with Sara still shocked, kneeling on the floor and picked up the little crying bundle, "Stop crying. It's okay. Shh." He smoothed her hair and hugged her close until her last tear fell.

When she pushed away from him, she asked, "Will you be my daddy?"

"I would love to be your daddy. But I need to ask two questions first, okay?" She nodded her head. "Okay. Number one is why did you decide to call me daddy?"

"The lady that was here asked when you were going to marry my mommy. I told her you said someday and the she told me you were my daddy now. I always wanted a daddy."

"Okay. Now, my second question is for your mommy." He looked to Sara who had tears in her eyes. One word was all he gave her, "Yes?"

She whispered her response, "Yes."

He turned his attention back to Kimmy who had gone from the little girl he loved to his daughter in a matter of precious moments, "I will be your daddy, Pumpkin."

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too."

This morning when he woke up, he was a man who dreamed of having a family.

Tonight, he'd go to bed a daddy.


	12. Chapter 12

12

Hours later Kimmy was asleep on the couch when they tiptoed upstairs and he pulled her into the library explaining, "There's a love seat in here."

"Love seat, huh?"

Blushing a little, "Well, it was either that or we pick a bed."

She stopped, jerking him to a halt, "A bed, huh?"

He turned and yanked her toward him, "Get over here, you vixen."

Purposely stumbling into his arms, "Vixen, huh?"

"Has your vocabulary suddenly shortened?"

"I don't know, _Daddy_. Has it?"

He chuckled, "You sure you're okay with this?"

"Shouldn't _I _be asking _you_ that?"

"You can."

"You sure you're ready to be a daddy?"

"As long as you're the mommy of the child in question, then yes, I'm ready." She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out, "I think you're overcoming that over-talking around me thing you used to have."

She playfully punched his shoulder then pushed him onto the love seat, immediately curling into his side and wrapping an arm around his middle. They were silent for a few seconds before she asked, "Did you ever want children of your own?"

"I guess I never saw myself falling in love with a woman and wanting her to carry my child. I'm not strong enough to do it on my own like you. It's not that I never wanted children, I just didn't see it as a possibility in my life."

"Now?"

"Now I have you and Kimmy."

"No. Now do you want children of your own?"

He ran his fingers through her hair while he thought. He was a smart man; he knew what she was asking. The hidden question was if it was okay with him if she wanted more children. He chose his words wisely, "Although I would say that right now I am satisfied with our little family, I would also say that the thought of having a child of my own does appeal to me. What about you? I know you have Kimmy, but would you like to carry a child of your own?"

Without hesitation, "Yes. I think feeling a child grow inside me, going through childbirth with my husband at my side and being there to hold our baby only seconds after he or she is born into this world must be the most amazing feeling a person can experience."

"You said husband, so you do see yourself getting married?"

"Why do you sound so shocked?"

"I seem to remember a case we worked where you expressed your views on marriage as somewhat less than favorable."

"Then you weren't listening. You are confusing weddings with marriage. Weddings, I'm not so fond of."

"So you want to be married in a courtroom by a judge?"

Chuckling, "No. I just don't like the spectacle people make out of their wedding. A couple's wedding day should be about the two of them celebrating their love for each other, not about how many people they shove into a church or a backyard to argue over who gets to do what or sit where. And I don't even want to start about the amount of money people waste trying to make an impression."

"Then I suppose you'd like a small ceremony, say less than ten people, little or no reception at all and no fancy gown or bridal party."

"Sounds perfect!"

"I'm assuming you want a non-religious ceremony."

"Is that all right with you?"

"Sara, I couldn't care less how we get married, as long you're my wife by the time it's over, that's all that matters to me. You can plan the whole thing. How do you feel about rings?"

"Rings? I guess I have mixed feelings. Sometimes I think men use rings as their way to stake a claim on a woman. You know, to let other men know she belongs to him. And I also wouldn't want a ring that costs more that my first car. It's ridiculous what people spend on jewelry. But there's also a part of me that really wants that whole bended knee proposal."

"You know, I have to admit that I never thought of you as such a planner. I really thought of you as more of a spontaneous person. But you really have a definite plan for your life."

She was silent for a second before responding, "Yeah, I guess I am. I really want to get married, go on a nice honeymoon, have a baby and grow old with my husband. But you used to be right about me. Before Kimmy, I was a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl. But with a child, planning is necessary."

As if it were the most natural conversation in the world, "Well, I have to admit that I'm not really up on my 'conceiving a child' trivia, so are there tests that we'd have to go through to find out whether it would be safe for us to have a child?"

"I don't know. I'm not really at the prime age for having a child. There are a lot of risks at my age, but I think most of the tests are done after the baby's conceived."

"Are they risks you're willing to take?"

"They're all the same risks any couple face, it's just that the odds are greater in women my age, Down syndrome, miscarriage stuff like that."

"What about my age?"

"Not as important as mine."

"Okay, what happens if test results come back bad?"

"Then we'd have to decide whether the outcome would be something we could deal with or not. If not, we'd have to decide whether to terminate or carry to term and give up for adoption."

"All right."

There was a moment of silence before she pushed away from his chest and looked into his eyes, "Are we talking about getting married and having a child together?"

"Uh, yes I think we are."

She smiled and tilted her head to the side, "You do know that we have to…you know…to make a baby?"

"Yes My Dear, I believe I do. But I think I might enjoy having you explain it to me."

"Oh yeah?"

He chuckled, "Yeah."

She made a move for the hem of her shirt saying, "Well, first we have to get rid of these clothes."

He caught her wrists, "Stop right there, Miss Smarty."

Innocently, "But I thought you needed me to explain?"

"Actually, I said I might enjoy it, not that I _needed_ it. And that is not the point."

"Oh no? Then what is the point?"

"The point is that the first time I see you without a shirt on, _I _want to be the one who removed it."

Her fingers relaxed, releasing her shirt, "I'll remember that."

Pulling her toward him, he whispered just before their lips met, "Thank you."

His tongue quickly found hers as she made her way onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. With his hands running through her hair, he deepened the kiss, trying to pour all of the desire he felt into this one moment. Their need for air overcame their need for each other and they parted breathlessly.

Searching deep within her eyes, barely above audible, he whispered, "You are so beautiful, Sara."

"Grissom, I…"

Still whispering, he interrupted, "You used my first name earlier."

"Yes?"

"I liked it."

Hesitantly, "Gil, I…"

This time it was Kimmy's yell that interrupted her, "Mommy! Daddy!"

She answered, "We're upstairs." Her eyes fell to the floor, "I should probably get her home and to bed."

He tucked some hair behind her ear, "I know."

"Come home with us?"

"Sara…"

"Please?"

Expelling a deep breath, "Okay. I'll come with you." Her eyes brightened and he held up a finger, "But, only so we can talk."

She nodded her head in agreement just as Kimmy entered the room. "Mommy, I'm tired. Can we go home now?"

"Yes, Sweetie. We're leaving right now."

She rubbed her eyes, "Are you coming Daddy?"

Would he ever be able to resist those eyes? Something told him he wouldn't. "I'm coming, Pumpkin."

Fifteen minutes later he was following her taillights thru the darkened streets with a packed bag on the passenger seat.

At one point he'd been in control of his life.

Tonight, he'd lost control to two sets of eyes, one chocolate and one emerald.

At one point, that would have bothered him.

Tonight, he couldn't care less.


	13. Chapter 13

13

With Kimmy fast asleep in bed, they curled up on her sofa, her on his lap. She felt so good in his arms, like she belonged there, like his arms were made just for her. She toyed with the buttons on his blue polo as he spoke, "I was thinking that maybe we could go on a little trip before you have to go back to work. Maybe we could leave tomorrow."

"Where to?"

"I don't know. I just thought it might be nice."

"I don't know if I could leave Kimmy with anyone for the weekend."

"That's good, because I was talking about a family trip."

"Oh! Okay. That sounds good, then."

"Where would you like to go?"

"Disney might be fun for Kimmy."

"I'd say so." He paused before asking, "How would you feel about seeing Jim?"

"Jim? You mean go to Vegas?"

"I won't be upset if you say no. It's just that I never said goodbye to anyone. I just left. I didn't think that would bother me, but suddenly it does. I'm not saying you'd have to see everyone, but we could stay one night with Jim and I could go see everyone for an hour or so then we could leave. I'm not suggesting we vacation there; it's no place for a child."

There was a short silence as she thought, "Okay. I suppose we could do that. I wouldn't mind seeing Jim. Maybe we could do that first, then head to Disney so Kimmy will still be excited about the trip?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I understand how you feel. I'm just not ready to see everyone yet."

"I won't pressure you to do anything you don't want to do."

"I know. Why don't I go online and see what kind of flights I can get us last minute and you can call Jim to make sure we can stay tomorrow night?"

"Okay." She scooted off his lap, but he caught her wrist, pulling her back toward him. "Kiss me." After a wide smile she did just that before leaving the room. He watched her disappear up the stairs and sighed as he flipped his cell phone open, wondering how he'd gotten so lucky.

After two rings Jim answered, "Hey! Didn't expect to hear from you!"

"You alone?"

"You talk. I'm good."

"I was wondering if you'd like some company tomorrow night."

"You're always welcome, you know that."

"Well, it wouldn't be just me. Sara and her daughter would be with me."

"Sounds serious. I like that. What time?"

"Not sure. Sara's checking on flights right now. Do you think you could get the gang rounded up for breakfast Sunday morning without making them suspicious? I don't want anyone to know I'm coming."

"Call me when you know the time. I can't promise about suspicion, but I'll get it done. Will seven be too early for you guys?"

"Just me for breakfast, Jim. Sara's not ready."

"Got it. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Thanks."

A couple minutes later he leaned over her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her as she clicked buttons on the screen. "Everything's all set with Jim. I told him I'd call when I knew what time."

"There was only one flight with three seats left. We land at 3:47. I'm looking for a flight out on Sunday, now." He watched as she scrolled through the screen. A few clicks later she said, "How about we leave around one? We'd get back to California in time to eat an early dinner and maybe do a little sight seeing. Then we could spend Monday in the park."

"You're the planner, Honey. Whatever works for you, works for me. Jim's gonna have the gang meet me for breakfast at seven, so that will be plenty of time. Do you need me to do anything?"

"Should I rent a car in Vegas?"

"I am _not_ putting you or our daughter in a cab in Vegas."

"Okay, so rent a car; got it. Anything else?"

"Yes." It was a few seconds before the clatter of plastic landed in front of her. "Since I know how stubborn you are, I won't ask to pay for everything, but I expect at least half of this trip and more if you like, to be billed to this."

Without the argument he expected, "Yes, Dear."

He kissed the top of her head, "Thank you. How much longer will you be?"

"Uh, fifteen minutes, maybe? I want to buy the theme park tickets and book the hotel and cars."

"I'm gonna take a shower."

Twenty minutes later, he joined her just as she was pulling a few sheets of paper from the printer. "How'd you do?"

"All done." Reaching her hand out, "Your card, used as directed."

"Good. I'll be right back. I need to put this away before I lose it." After depositing the card in his wallet, he returned to the small study only to find it empty. He found her in her bedroom pulling a bag from the closet. Leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, "Wow! You don't waste any time do you?"

She smiled over her shoulder and shrugged, "I'm a planner."

"And what exactly are you 'planning' at this point?"

With a sly grin, she sauntered across the room and dropped her bag beside his feet. She grabbed a fistful of his shirt and slowly pulled him the few inches needed to close the distance between them and pushed the door shut with her foot. "I'm planning on letting you take my shirt off."

With his arms still crossed, "Well, I'm _not _planning on taking it off."

"I know."

He raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"I'm the planner, not you."

She pushed up on her tiptoes and pulled him even closer toward her, "Sara, we had a deal, remember? I came home with you so we could talk."

She huffed and he breathed a sigh of relief when she backed off. He didn't know how much longer he could resist her. She flashed him her best puppy dog eyes and asked, "Will you sleep with me?"

"I seem to remember you asking me that once before."

"I have different reasons this time."

He wanted to refuse, to safely retreat to the guest room, as far from the temptation as he could get. But his heart spoke, selfishly wanting to be as near to her as much as possible. "Fine, I'll _sleep _with you."

Nodding curtly, "Point made." Giving him a toothy smile, she nearly skipped out of the room saying, "Be right back."

Stealing the forensic textbook from her side of the bed, he turned down the sheets and settled on the other side. Without his glasses, he just skimmed the pages, having read the book before anyway. He looked up from the book and snickered when she entered the room wearing the shirt he'd just removed. "A vision in blue. Do I need to invest in new shirts, or will they all rotate back to me at some point?"

"I suppose I could rotate."

Snapping the book shut as she crawled into bed, "Well, thank you."

With a huge smile, "Welcome!"

She propped herself up on one elbow, mirroring him. He looked into her eyes and saw a little bit of excitement, "You're excited."

"Yeah, I am…and a little scared."

"Why are you scared?"

"Because in my experience, just when things feel perfect, something horrible happens to steal it all away."

"And does this seem perfect to you?"

"Pretty close."

"Me too."

"Do you realize how much you've changed?"

"I only changed my actions, Sara, not my feelings. I always wanted this; I just never acted on it. When you left, I thought I'd lost my chance. I had a lot of time to think about what I'd do if I were ever lucky enough to get my chance back. I may not be a planner like you, but I'm more comfortable with my choices when I have time to think of the outcomes. When you were always right there in front of me, I never thought about losing you. I just assumed you'd always be there. I never thought that my choice to do nothing would cause me to lose you."

"I left so I could forget you."

Trying to be as humorous as possible, "How'd that work out?"

"Not well, obviously. I knew it would never work. I couldn't even put away the picture of you that's on my nightstand, let alone stop thinking of you. I'm not even really sure if I tried. It was more like I was a widow trying to figure out how to move on with my life and stop loving the only person I'd ever truly loved."

"Can I ask you something?" After she nodded, "Why did you love me?"

She never even hesitated, "In the beginning it was because you knew me. You weren't intimidated by my knowledge. In fact, you always pushed me to learn more. My career choice didn't gross you out. The hours I worked didn't bother you and you actually appreciated that I wasn't a social butterfly. After that, it was the little things that kept it going. The occasional looks, the way you appreciated my work, how you cared if I started to run myself down, not firing me when I know they pushed you to, holding my hand while I cried, never giving me the easy out. It all mattered and somehow overshadowed all the stupid stuff. I knew I was lost in you when I told you about my mother and it didn't scare you away. I knew in my heart that if I could tell you that, then I could tell you anything. The person you can tell all your secrets to is the person you're supposed to fall in love with and spend the rest of your life with."

"I'll tell you all the secrets you want to know."

"Umm…what does that mean exactly?"

"It means, that…it means that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to carry my child and I want to grow incredibly old with you. Most of all, it means that I love you."

He saw the tears rise in her eyes, "I love you, too."

With a wicked smile, hoping to chase the tears away, "And it means that I'm ready to take that shirt off."

Her smile was all he needed.

"Say it again."

With a raised eyebrow, "I'm ready to take that shirt off?"

"No, before that."

Smiling, he pulled her on top of him and held the sides of her face between his hands. Looking deep into her eyes, "I love you Sara Ann Sidle and don't you ever forget it."

When their lips met, he swore he felt the fireworks go off inside him. There was no gentleness as there had been before. No tender touch or mild teasing. A fierce passion drove their every move, needing to fulfill the desire they both had to consume the other.

Tongues clashed and hands groped, roaming over unwanted barriers. He rolled her to the side, simultaneously tearing his lips from hers, and attacked the bare skin exposed by the open buttons of his polo. His hand, on a mission of its own grazed her body, forging a path from her bare thigh, over her stomach and stopping just below her covered breast.

She squirmed beneath him, begging for his touch, and gasped when he answered by cupping her breast in his palm, gently kneading the tender flesh. Leaving a hot, wet trail of kisses and nibbling over her neck, his hand moved from one breast to the other, reveling in the feeling over her nipples rising to hard peaks under his touch.

He pulled her into an upright position and all but yanked his shirt over her head, baring her to him with the exception of the scrap of red satin around her hips. She fell back to the bed after a gentle push pulling the hem of his shirt up to his chest as she went. Finishing the job himself, he tossed the shirt to the side and stifled her moan with his kiss as he pressed his bare chest against hers.

Pulling from the passionate onslaught of her tongue, he moved his attention back to her milky breasts and her hands grabbed at fistfuls of sheets when he took one into his mouth, sucking on the soft flesh. Moving from one to the other, his tongue flicked at the hard nipples and licked at the smooth flesh around them, wanting to devour every inch.

Her hips arched against his roaming hand as it grazed over the silky material at her waist. He couldn't stop the moan that escaped him as her hip pressed against his arousal. Obviously realizing the effect, she moved against him, making him pulsate with need.

His lips never left her flesh as he moved down her stomach and tugged her last bit of clothing away. His mouth covered the newly exposed skin at her waist as her fingers tugged at his hair and her hips writhed. When his hand touched the wet curls between her legs, she jerked against him and let out a cry he was sure the neighbors heard.

Changing his position, he covered her mouth with his as he slipped his fingers inside her, stifling the loud noise her knew she would emit. With gentle strokes of his fingers, he pushed her as far as he dared without taking her to the final peak. He selfishly wanted to be inside her during her first climax with him.

After a moan when he removed his fingers, she shocked him when she pushed him onto his back and immediately tugged his shorts away. His eyes widened when she swung a leg over him and straddled his waist, pressing her hot wetness against his throbbing arousal.

She bent to kiss him, but with a firm hand between her breasts, he pushed her back into an upright position. Looking into her eyes, swirling with passion and sparkling with desire, he managed in a husky voice, "You are so beautiful."

"I love you, Gil."

"I love you, too, Sara."

With that, he could resist her no longer. When she finally guided him inside her, the warmth enveloping him, he grasped her hips and held her firmly against him, holding his breath as he lost himself in the magical feeling of being joined by love.

She moaned on top of him and he loosened his grasp allowing her to move against him. They found the perfect rhythm together, a dance of love that would carry them to new heights. Her hands covered his at her waist and he felt her tighten around him. Quickening their pace, pushing and pulling at her hips, he took her further, causing her head to fall back as she let herself go.

His need to feel her final climax outweighed the need of his own as he pressed himself deeper inside her. But when she uttered his name as he felt her shudders around him, with one last thrust he exploded inside her and they rode the climax together.

When she fell to his chest, he wrapped her in his arms, feeling a new completeness he'd never experienced. He needed her, and as scary as that would have seemed to him in the past, now he understood it was just a fact of life. He loved her, and without her, he was nothing.

He held her until her breathing evened and he was sure she had drifted off into sweet dreams of their love for each other and then rolled her to the side. She moaned as he moved away to pull the sheet over them and his heart skipped a beat when she clung to him as he lay back down. She needed him too.

He drifted off to sleep with thoughts of their amazing future together.

If you had asked him yesterday, he would have said that uttering the words 'I love you' might possibly be the hardest thing he ever did.

If you asked him now, he'd say that it couldn't get any easier.


	14. Chapter 14

14

The morning had been rushed, especially since they'd slept in. Breakfast had been eaten on the go and bags had been quickly packed. Kimmy's excitement had been nearly uncontrollable and they were thankful for the small television screen in the headrest in front of them that kept her occupied with the purchased cartoon movie during the short flight.

He had been more worried than she about losing Kimmy in the large airport and insisted on carrying her everywhere. They were in no hurry once they landed, not having any definite plans besides meeting at Jim's house.

When they pulled into the drive in their rented gold Pathfinder, Kimmy had fallen asleep in the back seat. He carefully carried her to the house and put a finger over his lips when Jim opened the door. Nodding his understanding, he led them directly to the guestroom where they left her on the double bed with the door cracked.

Once they were back in the living room, Jim grinned widely saying, "Good to see you Gil. Sara, you look great! How you doin' Kid?"

"I am great. Good to see you."

"So, tell me how you two met up again."

Grissom interrupted, "You two catch up and I'll go get the bags."

After he left, "So, are you gonna tell me or do I have to ask?"

"Ask what?"

"Don't play dumb with me. This is your old buddy Jim, here. Gil's my best friend and he's been pining over you for years. Now you two are going on a weekend trip together? Come on!"

She giggled, "Okay, fine. We're…dating?"

He echoed her, "Dating? Somehow I don't see Gil as the 'dating' sort of guy."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But he's changed a lot. We're a couple. How about that?"

Nodding, "That'll do for now." Gil returned with the bags in hand and Jim pointed down the hall, "I made up two room. You can put those in the one across the hall from the little girl so you don't wake her." Once he disappeared into the room, "I'm sorry. I never even asked her name."

"Kimmy."

"Nice. How old is she?"

"Three. She'll be four in a couple weeks."

"The father?"

Grissom walked in the room and, before she had a chance to answer, replied, "That would be me."

With a shocked expression, "I thought you told me everything! I certainly missed the story about the night you spent with her!"

He chuckled as he pulled Sara into his embrace, "She's adopted, Jim, but she calls me 'Daddy'."

He crossed his arms over his chest, "You? Gotta say I never pictured that."

"Me neither, but you'd better get used to it. We want to have another child."

Holding both hands up, as if surrendering, "Hold on, one minute! Both of you, on the couch. I'll go get the scotch." Looking at Sara, "Two glasses or three, Young Lady?"

"Just two. I don't drink any more."

"Good for you."

"Ah, that'll be just one glass, Jim. I don't want to drink around Kimmy."

Raising an eyebrow, "_You're_ refusing scotch? Wow! You have changed!"

Kimmy slept for another half hour while they went through Jim's interrogation. When she woke, she yelled for her mother and Sara quickly went to her. Once she was out of earshot Jim asked, "Okay, so be straight with me. Is this as serious as it sounds?"

"Yes it is. I love her. She loves me and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. I'm gonna marry her, Jim. I love Kimmy and I want Sara to carry my child. This is it."

"Well, it's about damn time."

They were both laughing when Sara came into the room pulling Kimmy behind her. "Somebody wants her daddy."

He opened his arms, "Come here, Pumpkin. What's wrong?"

She crawled onto his lap before asking, "Who's that man, Daddy?"

Holding her tight, "That's Mr. Brass. Remember I told you about him this morning? He's Daddy's best friend."

Jim waved, "Hi, Kimmy."

Biting her lip, "Hi Mr. Brass."

"Oh, you can call me Jim."

Grissom spoke up, "She's not allowed to call adults by their first name."

"Okay, how about Uncle Jim, then?"

He looked to Sara for approval before saying, "Okay, Uncle Jim. Does that sound good to you, Kimmy?"

"I never had a uncle before."

"Well, now you do."

Her smile brightened, "Okay!"

Squeezing her tight, "That's my girl."

"Daddy, I'm hungry. What's for dinner?"

"I don't know." Turning to Jim, "Uncle Jim, what's for dinner?"

They all laughed before he answered, "Well, I made a pretty big salad, we'll throw some fries in and I have cheeseburgers for the boys and Boca burgers for the girls."

Sara interrupted, "Actually, we only need one Boca burger. Kimmy eats meat."

"All right then, Young Lady, you get to eat with the boys! Let's get this party started!"

When they all sat down to dinner, "So, anything I should know before breakfast tomorrow?"

"Well, Catherine is enjoying her new position as shift supervisor and was in utter shock when she found out you caught up on your paperwork before leaving."

Sara asked in disbelief, "_You_ caught up on paperwork?"

"I had nothing better to do, Dear."

Jim continued, "Warrick and Catherine still haven't fessed up to seeing each other."

"Really? Well, now probably wouldn't be a good time with Cath getting that promotion. It's not a good idea for a supervisor to date one of his or her subordinates."

Sara jabbed his ribs, "Enough you! And why didn't you tell me they were a couple?"

"We haven't talked about the gang at all Sara. You've been gone two years. There's a lot of catching up to do. Besides, they haven't even told us. We just picked up on some clues."

Jim burst in, "Some clues? You caught them making out in the back seat of Warrick's car!"

Rolling his eyes, "All right. So we're pretty sure they're an item."

Jabbing him again, "Is there anything else I should know?"

"Let's see. Greg is still madly in love with you. Nick is engaged to be married in October. Obviously Warrick and Tina got divorced. Al retired and David is head coroner and Sophia got married and moved to Virginia."

"Wow, a lot has changed!"

"Yeah, and after you left, Gil, Nick announced he's got a little one on the way."

"No kidding?"

"Nope, due in January I think."

"Good for him."

They chatted the rest of the way through dinner and after cleaning up, kept Kimmy entertained with a rather long game of hide and seek before Sara took her in for a bath. Once they had her in bed, the three adults headed out to the back porch with a pitcher of lemonade.

Jim broke the silence once they were all seated, him in a chair and Grissom and Sara on a bench porch swing. "So, I hear you won't be joining us for breakfast, Miss Sidle. Dare I ask why?"

"I just don't think I'm ready for all the questions, Jim. I'm not used to it anymore."

"I understand."

Lightening the mood, "Where are we going anyway?"

"Same old diner as usual. Didn't want to raise any more questions than I had to. I already got a lot of crazy looks especially after I asked for tonight off. But, hey, they'll get over it. Gotta warn you though, that some people were not happy with the way you left."

"Like?"

"Aeh, Warrick slammed a couple doors, Greg sulked for days. I think Catherine understood, but Nick was a little pissed, hurt maybe."

"Yeah, okay. I get the point. That's why I came back. I felt bad for not saying goodbye."

"Enough about them. Let's talk about you two. Do I hear wedding bells or is that just my imagination?"

Without even hesitating he answered, "Oh, I'm sure you hear them, but it's customary for me to ask her and for her to say yes before I start spreading the news."

She leaned her head on his shoulder, "You already know I'll say yes."

"Oh yeah?" She jabbed him again and he shifted, pulling a tiny velvet box from his pocket. "Well, you should probably wear this, then. Though I was going to do the whole bended knee thing."

She looked at him with wide eyes as Jim watched in smiling silence. "When did you get this?"

"It was my mother's. She gave it to me the day she passed away and told me I was only allowed to give it to the woman I was eternally in love with and would spend my life loving until the day my heart stopped beating. Open it."

She opened it to find the simplest, yet most beautiful ring she'd ever laid eyes on. A simple gold band with a single square diamond sparkled up at her. She looked at him with tear-filled eyes and he set his glass down before he rose from his seat beside her saying, "I suppose I should do this right."

He got down on one knee and held her hands in his, "Sara, I love you more than life itself. I see you in my past, in my present and in my future and I can't stand the possibility of not sharing every second of my life with you and our beautiful little girl. You are a piece of me. You are all of me; without you, I am nothing. All I ask is that you let me love you from now until eternity's end. My perfect butterfly, will you marry me?"

Tears ran down her cheeks, "Of course I will." He slipped the ring on her finger before capturing her lips with his.

They were broken from their love spell by Jim asking, "So, do I her wedding bells, or is it just my imagination?"

After bursting into laughter, they all stood while Jim congratulated them both. "Couldn't have asked for a better wife for my best friend. And I'm glad I got to see it first-hand."

After exchanging hugs, Sara stifled a yawn and Grissom said, "We'd better turn in. It's been a long day and I have an early morning."

"Good night you two. And congrats again."

When they crawled into bed, "Wake me up before you go, okay?"

"You know I will." He kissed her soundly on the lips, "You make me the happiest man on earth. Do you know that?"

"I do now."

"Good. I love you."

"I love you too, Gil."

"Goodnight, Dear."

"Night."

Yesterday, they had talked about getting married.

Today, they actually were.


	15. Chapter 15

15

On the way to breakfast the next morning he reminded Jim not to mention Sara to the others, hoping the he himself would be able to follow his own rule and focus the conversation on topics other than the past few days. He hated lying.

When they entered the diner, they saw the gang all gathered around a table in the back. It was Nick who spotted them first and stood with a somber look. Before he got to the table, everyone was staring at him in silence.

Taking a deep breath, "Look, I know some of you are mad at me for not saying goodbye. But that's why I came back. I'm sorry. At the time, it seemed like the right decision."

Still without a smile, "Well you were wrong."

"I know that Nicky, that's why I'm here."

Catherine finally stood and defended him, "Give him a break Nick! He came back." She stepped in to give him a hug and Greg instantly followed.

"Greg, I can't breathe."

Blushing, he backed away, "Sorry."

"It's okay."

From the other side of Catherine, Warrick stood and reached out his hand, "Good to have you back, Gris."

"Thanks, Warrick. But I'm not here to stay. I just came to see you guys and explain why I left."

Greg almost whined, "So you're not coming back to work?"

"No Greg. I retired. I live in California now. I just wanted to give everyone a proper goodbye." He looked toward Nick again, "What do you say, Nick? Do I get to sit or should I just leave?"

Still monotone, "You can sit."

Nodding curtly, "Thanks." As he sat, he understood why Sara wasn't ready for this.

It was Warrick who braved the first question, "So why did you leave?"

He folded his hands in front of him, ready to explain, when the waitress interrupted to take their orders. No one even bothered looking at a menu. Once she walked away, he began, "My mother was ill. I got a call from her doctor saying I should be with her. It was what I had to do."

Catherine interrupted, "You said 'was ill.' If she's better, why don't you come back? I'm sure they'd give you your job back."

"Don't you like your new job, Catherine?"

"Well, yeah, but I'd give it up if you came back."

"That's very nice of you, but Mother isn't better. She passed away a few days ago."

A round of sympathies followed, even from Nick before he continued, "Anyway, I retired. I needed a change. I'm doing fine out in California. So enough about me; catch me up on you guys."

Greg spoke up, starting to ramble something about a case when he heard shouting from behind him, "Daddy!"

No one even looked up, but he knew his little girl's voice. He stood and turned, scanning the small diner for the source of the voice. When he spotted her, she was running toward him. He leaned down and scooped her into his arms, not even noticing the gaped mouths and shocked stares behind him.

"Hey! What are you doing here? Where's Mommy?"

"She's waiting outside. She told me to come get you."

Looking over his shoulder he told the group, "I'll be right back." To Kimmy, "Is something wrong?"

She shook her head, "No, she just said she needed to see you."

When he got outside, he spotted her at the end of the building, away from the large front windows. He rushed to her, "Is everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah, fine. I just realized…well, I missed you after you left and…I thought maybe if I was with you…"

"Shh. Do you want to come in, or do you need me to leave with you?"

She took a deep breath and licked her lips, "I want to come in."

"Good." He kissed her before taking her hand and leading her to the table he'd just left. The shocked expressions were even more prominent when he walked in holding Sara's hand and carrying Kimmy with the other. Ignoring the looks, "Everyone, I'm sure you remember Sara and this is our daughter, Kimmy."

Taking a step closer to him, she waved with her free hand, "Hey guys."

When no one replied, Grissom said, "I know you all are shocked, but someone could at least say hello."

Shaking his head, as if coming back to reality, Nick stood and hugged Sara. "Hey, it's so good to see you. We had no idea what the hell happened to you." Greg hugged her too and Warrick and Catherine uttered polite greetings before they all made room at the table. Grissom motioned for the waitress and she took the two orders before leaving them again in silence.

Everyone was quiet until Catherine finally piped up, "Will someone please tell us just what the heck is going on here?"

Grissom draped his arm over Kimmy's chair and rested his hand on Sara's shoulder. "After Mother passed away, I bumped into Sara on the beach near her house. She offered to go to the funeral with me and we sort of rekindled old feelings."

Warrick gave his opinion, "Old feelings? We didn't know you guys were ever a couple!"

"We weren't."

"You don't have a kid if you aren't a couple at some point!"

Grissom shot Sara a look and she immediately understood. To Kimmy, "Sweetie, let's go wash our hands before our food gets here okay?"

Once they were out of earshot, "Kimmy is adopted. She is not biologically my child. But I love her like she is my own and she actually asked me a couple days ago if she could call me 'Daddy.' Of course, I said yes."

Catherine's sarcasm rose, "Of course, my ass, Gil. You disappeared two weeks ago without even saying goodbye. Now you come back with Sara, who's been gone for over two years, and a little girl who's calling you Daddy. What the hell is going on? What's next? Are you gonna tell us you're getting married?"

Smugly, "Actually, I proposed last night and she said yes."

Jim couldn't smother his laugh as Catherine let out, "Christ, Gil!"

He saw Sara and Kimmy out of the corner of his eye headed back to the table and stood. "Listen, Sara and I are in love. We are going to get married and we both adore our little girl. Now you all have two choices. You can either be happy for us and we'll sit down so we can all have breakfast together and catch up or you can choose to not accept the facts, we can turn around and walk out the door and never look back. The choice is yours."

He was met with blank, silent stares. "Fine." Turning to his future wife, "Sara, let's go."

He had just picked Kimmy up when Nick's voice stopped him, "Wait."

Turning to his former employee, "Yes, Nick?"

"Stay. You've always supported us, been there for us, never given up on us. We were just shocked when you deserted us. And now you're coming back here…a whole new guy! You gotta give us a break Man! Nobody here's upset about you and Sara. Heck, I say it's about time! Sara's been drooling over you for more years than I can count. It's all the rest of the stuff we don't understand." Looking around the table, "Am I right guys?"

A series of nods followed before he looked at Sara and they took their seats. After gathering his thoughts, "I didn't desert you. My mother was dying and I couldn't think of anything other than getting to her as quickly as possible. I was facing the possibility of having to say goodbye to the only person in the world who completely understood me, who loved me unconditionally and always would. How was I supposed to say goodbye to…all of my friends…and my mother? I just couldn't do it. It was like I was losing everything. Somehow I convinced myself that not saying goodbye meant I really wasn't losing you. I thought it would be easier. I realized I was wrong. I made a mistake and I apologize."

The waitress showed up with their food, creating the opportunity for everyone to let his words sink in. Once everyone was served, he waited while silent looks were exchanged. It was Catherine who finally voiced the group's reaction, "So, thanks for finishing up all that paperwork before you left. Couldn't believe it myself."

He relaxed, "You're welcome. It was the least I could do."

Nick gave his good news, "Hey! Amber's pregnant, due in January."

"Congratulations Nick."

It was Greg who finally included Sara in the conversation, "So, Sara, what's new with you? What lab do you work in?"

"I don't work in a lab, Greg. I teach high school physics."

"Whew. Major pay cut!"

"Yeah, but the hours are better for raising a child. You have to remember that I was out there on my own 'til a few days ago. I didn't have friends or family to baby-sit."

Catherine understood, "I don't know what I would do without Mom there to take care of Lindsay. So, Gil, you gonna be a stay-at-home Dad?"

Glancing at Sara, "Uh, we hadn't really discussed that yet. In fact, have we even told Kimmy?"

"Told me what, Daddy?"

"That Mommy and I are getting married."

She rolled her eyes, "I know, _someday_."

"No. I asked Mommy last night and she said yes."

"O'course she said yes. She's the mommy and you're the daddy. You _have_ to get married!"

The whole group burst into laughter. Between his chuckles, "I guess I should've just asked you."

"I can't marry you. You're my Daddy!"

The laughter grew louder and all the tension was quickly forgotten as they shared the rest of their meal. Memories were rehashed, stories were told and feelings were revealed. Bridges were mended again. Hugs and promises to keep in touch ended their get-together before everyone retreated to their respective cars. Catherine nor Warrick had mentioned their relationship yet again, but he didn't miss the fact that they both got into the same car or that they were holding hands beneath the table. But he respected their need for space and hadn't brought it up.

A few hours later, when their plane took off, he watched out the window as the tall buildings slowly faded out of sight.

A little over two weeks ago, this was his home. Solving cases was his life. His work was his love.

Now, his home, his life and his love sat in the two seats next to him. He was complete again.


	16. Chapter 16

Epilogue

(Three months later)

The morning sun peeked through their bedroom window, forcing his eyes from the dark dreamland they'd been in to open and greet the day. The chirping birds outside their half-opened window, along with the crashing waves, were a natural and welcomed alarm clock. He turned his head to the left and was blessed, as always, with the sight of his beautiful fiancé lying peacefully beside him.

Shifting carefully, he rolled to the side and pecked small kisses over her face until her eyes fluttered. She smiled and granted him his morning kiss before curling even tighter into his embrace. Enjoying what would probably be their last free moment alone together for the day, he cupped her cheek with his free hand and searched her eyes.

"So, are you ready?"

With the smirk that he adored, "What would you do if I said no?"

"I would roll you over right now and tickle you into giving in to my demands."

Giggling, "Well, since we both know I won't even make it past the threat before giving in, I might as well say yes then."

"So glad you see it my way."

"I love you, Gil."

"I love you too, Sara."

"Guess we'd better get up. What time are all the guys getting here?"

"They are supposed to be here at ten so we can get everything set up while you girls go get your hair and nails done."

"Okay. The cake is supposed to be delivered at noon and the food at two. The JP will be here at two-thirty. We're picking up the flowers on the way back and should be back by two I hope."

"You sure you're going to have enough time to finish getting ready?"

"Hun, it's just a dress."

"Yes, I know. I just know how you are when you're rushed."

"I'll be okay."

"You'd better. I want you to be the happiest bride ever."

Flashing him a wide, gap-toothed smile, "I already am."

"Good. I'll go get breakfast ready so you can take a shower. I'll take mine later."

She kissed him again before, "Thanks." She scrambled up after that, but turned when she got to the door, "Do I get to know where we're going on our honeymoon yet?"

With a satisfied smirk, "Nope. As long as you're sure you'll be able to leave Kimmy with Catherine for a couple days, then everything else is all planned."

She stuck out her tongue before leaving his chuckles behind her.

At ten o'clock a knock sounded at the door followed by a Texan accent yelling down the hallway, "Ya'll decent in there?"

Sara rolled her eyes, "We're in the kitchen, guys."

The kitchen filled quickly by their friends and Catherine didn't give Sara a second to hesitate, "All right, let's go. Our appointments start at eleven."

"Okay. We're ready." Turning to her future husband, "If you need anything, call me."

He thought for a second about giving her a sarcastic salute and a 'yes ma'am' but quickly ruled it out replacing it with a simple, "I will."

After quick kisses to both his girls, he watched them walk out the front door with Catherine and Amber. Form there, he looked to each of his friends, Jim, Warrick, Nick and Greg and smiled, thankful for how lucky he was.

Changing his focus, "Okay boys. First, I need to go pick up my tux. The cake won't be here until noon, so if everyone wants to ride with me, we'll just start everything else when we get back."

Once they entered the beauty parlor, which Sara was only subjecting herself to because it was Catherine's gift to her, they were surprised by a couple early openings. Amber was immediately taken to get her mani and pedi while Cath and Kimmy were taken to get their hair shampooed. Sara held back, saying she would wait the needed ten or fifteen minutes before another mani/pedi space became available.

"I'm gonna run next door and get an iced tea. Anybody want anything?"

Only Catherine replied, "Sure Sara. I'll take one too. Don't be too long."

"Be back in a minute."

She returned as promised and everyone was ready to go before one o'clock. Carefully piling into the car, they made the quick stop at the florist before heading home. When they pulled into the drive, Catherine ushered Sara inside, practically forcing her upstairs into her bedroom.

Sara protested to blocked ears, "Cath, I have plenty of time. I just want to go make sure everything's all set."

Pointing a finger at her chest, "You can look out the window. I'll go check on everything. If something's wrong, I'll come back and tell you. But unless there is and emergency, you are not to be seen by Gil until marching time, got it?"

"Fine Catherine. Please send Kimmy up so she doesn't mess up her hair or get dirty."

"You got it. Be right back."

Thankful that her friend left, giving her the opportunity she needed, she pulled the test out of her purse that she'd purchased at the drug store with her iced tea and walked into the bathroom. She quickly scanned the instructions before taking the test, almost 100 sure of the result before even taking it. She had woken up nauseated for the past two weeks and had needed to steer clear of foods she'd always eaten in the past. Her exhaustion had been abundant, and although she vocally blamed it on the stress of planning a wedding and taking time off work, she knew deep down that they weren't the true reasons.

After reading the results, she tossed the test into the trash and carefully covered it with paper to make sure no one saw it before she had a chance to talk to Grissom. With Warden Catherine after her, though, she didn't know when that would be possible.

At 2:45 Catherine went down the last-minute checklist. "Okay, so you have something old?"

"Yes, Gil's college ring is tied into my bouquet."

"Something new?"

"Everything's new, Catherine." She silently added, 'Especially the tiny life that's growing inside me.'

"Right. And you're borrowing my pearl bracelet. So, how about blue?"

"My garter has blue lace."

"Good. You're all set. You ready?"

"Yep. Thanks Catherine…for everything. You've been really great and staying to watch Kimmy while we're gone is just priceless. It makes me so nervous to leave her."

"It's no problem. She'll be fine. Besides, with the way you two look at each other, you won't even get out of bed long enough to worry about her!"

With a pursed-lip smirk she gave a sarcastic, "Thanks."

After a wink, "Welcome. Now let's go. I need to sit before the music starts."

Promptly at three, the music started, and he watched as Sara exited the back door of their house and into view. His breath caught in his throat as she took the steps needed to close the distance between them. Her hair, just as he'd asked, was not straightened and the beautiful curls danced at her shoulders. A simple ivory satin gown, held up by thick straps that draped her shoulders, fell at all the right curves and shimmied at her bare feet as she stepped slowly through the hot sand.

When she finally stood in front of him, a tear slipped from his eye and fell down his cheek. "You're stunning."

Their eyes never left each other's as the short ceremony was performed lost in the bond they were creating. When it came time for vows, he quoted Shakespeare and professed his undying love that he would have for her until eternity's end. But no one would remember what he said after Sara's words.

"I have spent the past few weeks searching for quotes and thinking up words to say that would flow in rhythmic pattern, attempting to match the eloquence I knew you would present. And until a couple hours ago, I had that speech memorized and was ready to pronounce those words to you in front of all of our closest friends. But now, standing here in front of you, I find myself pushed in another direction. Simply, you have, one by one, made all my dreams come true, and I can't think of a better thing to say at this moment, than this." She took his hand in hers and laid it flat against her not-yet-swollen belly. "_We_ love you very much."

His eyes filled with tears as he whispered, "You're pregnant?"

Not knowing whether she could manage to speak, she simply nodded her head. With the ceremony quickly forgotten, he picked her up in his arms and spun her in a circle, capturing her lips with his. When he took the second turn, she flung her head back in laughter. It wasn't until he gently slid her to the ground, her feet sinking into the sand, that the Justice of the Peace cleared is throat.

Neither of them remembered the rest of the spoken words, the formal "I do's" or being pronounced husband and wife, but neither would forget the moment after when he took her into his embrace, looked deep into her eyes and professed, "I will love you Mrs. Grissom, Kimmy and our baby from this moment, until forever's end."

Yesterday, forever may have seemed like it would last an eternity.

Today, it felt like it couldn't last long enough.


End file.
